Dunkin’ Donuts

“Do you want to sit on display or where you can’t be seen.”

“What? I normally sit on the sit because then there is the ledge where I can put my stuff.” Now I am just uncomfortable. Should we have sat there? Boy take the reigns I can’t do all the work!

“Yes so Neil has been talking to me a lot about things. Like the night when we were watching the movie he was giving me the meanest eye and I had no idea why. Apparently he had been texting me things. But I did not have my phone on me so I had no idea.”

“Oh everyone was being so weird that night.” Does he know not to be sharing this?

“Well you had to be texting them too.”

“No I wasn’t.” Too early to be exposing these things. I will let him take lead of this conversation to see if he will veer of this conversation of things that he needs to work on to be in a relationship.

“I don’t really now what I am doing because the only girl I have ever dated was my sophomore year of college. We dated for a month, then winter break came. And here is where me being bad at communicating comes into play because I did not talk to her all break and it just ended.” Yep another date is not happening.

Garage

“Josh did we get everything you needed.”

“Yeah I think we’re fine. I’m going to grab my ipod and put it in. You want anything?”

“I’m good.” Josh goes to his car while I am left looking around his room at was it was to what we made it. How did I help in all this, and we’re not dating or will be dating, because we are friends. Plus so cannot date another friend because already dated one from our group of friends so that cancels out everyone our for the bro code, respect level, and everything else that should come into play. But thought has crossed my mind let me tell you. I shouldn’t be thinking this. Tomorrow is my date with the nice guy. We had our first one and not sure how I felt about it, so we’ll see. I have to remember to call him when I get home to see what exactly is going on.

“Okay music check. I didn’t call anyone else or anything so it’ll just be you and me if that’s okay.”

“Yeah that’s fine. This is looking pretty damn good.”

“What is?”

“Well you room which we have been working so hard on. What else would I be talking about.”

Josh turn to face me and gives himself a look over. “Well you know I changed so thought you could have been talking about me.” Josh gives me a little smirk then stands by my and graces the back of his hand slowly over my cheek. My whole body gets chills.

“Josh you can’t do that.”

“Do what?” He says it in such a soft innocent voice, taking me to a place far from here.

“You know what.” I look him in the eyes and turn to start moving things around.

“I still don’t know what you mean. But I’ll go with it. You know if he didn’t take you out on that date then we would be fine. Or if you don’t go out with him tomorrow then you still have me.”

“Well thank you Josh. But I don’t even know what tomorrow is suppose to be like.”

Coffee

“Hello is anyone there?”

“Oh sorry Josh. Just lost in a thought from when I was driving here.”

“No problem. Did you already order?”

“Yeah just waiting for them to announce it. Are you getting anything?”

“I am so thirsty, just going to get a water.”

“I have one.”

“No it’s okay I can get one.”

“I already have it here just take it.” I have two bottle in my purse for some reason. Wow if you could be a water addict, then I am totally a water addict.

“No really it’s fine I can just get one.”

“Josh it’s fine.” Giving him the water and pulling out my second one. “See I have enough. Plus my nalgene is in the car. Trust me I have more than enough water.”

“Okay if you say so. What did you order?”

“Caramel lite. But that drink has wipe cream on the counter so it can’t be mine.”

“Oh good choice.”

“Still a Caramel Frap waiting on the counter.”

“I ordered a lite but maybe they mixed it up. Oh well, they’re the same anyways.” I squeeze through a few people to finally get my drink. Josh used to work as Starbucks so I can tell he is just waiting to correct me about how the drinks are actually different.

“The lit is actually made with skim milk while the regular one is made with whole milk.”

“Okay I got you. I normally get the lit because then I am guaranteed no wipe cream. That’s my logic.”

Josh laughs while responding, “I guess that works.”

We exchange smiles and make our way back to the street for a hunt of music.

Flashback

“Oh crap it’s sold out. Welp I thought this might happen.”

“It’s okay, we can still go grab coffee. Dunkin’ Donuts or Starbucks?”

“I am for either but more of a Dunkin’ Donuts person.”

“I am the same, if I want actual coffee I will go to Dunkin’ but if I was something girly I will totally go to Starbucks.” I see the nice guy continuing to talk about something but my thoughts are so lost in myself. I am being completely rude but I cannot help it. How did I get on a second date, this quickly. We made plans before he even asked me out so I should not be that surprised, however I should not be here. Everything about this situation my mind is screaming NO! But for some reason I cannot shake it off. It runs through my head of questioning why did I like this guy?

“Oh sorry I have you going the wrong way. Well at least you get to see more of my side.”

“Yeah I get to see more of this side of the highway.”

“True. I wont have you turn around because honestly it will probably take the same amount of time.”

“That’s fine. So anyway the thing at work-” and tuning out. I am truly being this heartless. What is going on with me right now? Is it simply nerves why he is acting this way? No this seriously cannot be just nerves. No one can be this off from how they are normally. Could they?

“Your going to keep left and go down that side street then make a left after the train tracks at the light.”

“Okay. So when I was out Neil was pointing out to me things that I should be doing and things to like work on. I understand that I have things that I need to work on and that is why I haven’t really dated much or anything.”

“Oh no it’s fine.” Is he seriously telling me this now? Okay we are no on this level yet, this is after you’ve been dating for a while and happily together. Not a second date expose all your flaws. I am suppose to discover that on my own and work around it.

“No I know I have stuff to work on, like communication.” Oh man. What have I done. Too soon. Now I know this is basically going to kill any future of dating that I could have thought would have happened. Maybe it wont be that bad. I need to try and stay focus stop zoning out! Okay he was talking about communication. You talk a lot. Yes Kelly, you talk a lot. Your good at communication.

“Oh this is our towns bar, basically one big high school reunion.”

“Note to never go there. That is were you basically see naked girls, asses, and boobs. I’m good.” I couldn’t resist but to laugh.

“Well true, but is that not a lot of bars?”

“I guess there are some classy ones, or other where you just go to grab a drink with friends. That would not be one of them I’m guessing.”

“Depends on the breaks from college.”

“Ahhh. I see.”

“Yep.” Man we are just going to grab coffee, isn’t that backwards dating? I should have not reminded him about this Monday night. Why did I call?! I am the girl it is not my job to be the reminder and ask about plans. It is is. Goodness what if I set up this situation.

Lunch

Need to rush to the building on the other side of campus to grab some food, eat half of it to save the other half for dinner. Goodness I seriously need to stop talking to myself so much. I am like my own best friend in a psycho path way. The worst part is I’m okay with it. I should not let people know I am okay with this. But hey this is my head you’ve invaded. You wanted Kelly’s head and I don’t think you can be hating. Wow why am I like speed walking, there is seriously not need for this. I can slow down. Oh screw that this wind is too freaking much. Police man let me just cross the road and not have to wait for these cars. They’re warm and shielded. I’m basically naked come one. OKay so not really I am dressed fine but still. It’s cold. Score I’m crossing. “Thank you.”

“No problem, have a good day.” Oh I will thanks hot cop. Alright door slide faster and let me in. Just have to make it down there and get food. No matter what I do I will always get an Italian sandwich. They need to make different sandwiches. Well it is my fault I could make one from one. But really, do you think I would blame myself? Nope. Now are there two chair couches open? Of course not. It doesn’t matter anyway. Josh is la†e of course. Will this boy ever be on time for anything? Thank God we could never date because I am not sure he would even be on time for that. And that truly is not a lot to ask for. Be on time for a date. Like come one. But not my issue. 

I could grab a quick nap in my car. Oh but that will be like fifteen minutes, so not worth it. Besides I am already here. Should I even bother doing work? Let’s see 12:15, I have about a half hour before he’ll be here so I could recopy my notes. “Hey!” 

“What is this?!  Your actually on time.”

“I tend to do that from time to time.”

“So I see.” After we both exchange smiles of happy and awkwardness we proceed to share this chair couch and talk about the randomness of life. “How was work?”

“Oh god don’t even get me started. New topic. Thanks so much for offering to help me out tonight I really appreciate it.”

“Pshhh, don’t mention it.”

“So how was your date?” Oh man totally forgot I talked to him about that. Tell him straight up or avoided and be awkward? Cheerful it is.

“Umm, it was good.” Be sure to add an embarrassed smile to pull this off just right. Look down, then yes meet his eyes. I think I pulled this off nicely.

Morning

For those of you who are the same page as me, I am one of those. Yes a morning person. I may not instantly be happy when I wake, however I am generally happy. Some days I pop right out of bed, others I may stretch and lay out, others I open my eyes and simply wonder how it is morning and what to do now. Then I will get up go about my morning business with brushing teeth and washing my face. You know the necessities to life to keep up hygenie and feel like a person rather than a disgusting slob that should not be let out into society. Lord knows there are to many ‘free sprits’ out there. However I am not one of those. I like to be a follower with that.

Any who then the hard part of the morning, what to freaking wear. It is that awkward time of year where you think you should be dressing warm simply because snow no longer exist however your still freezing your ass off. Go with typical jeans and cute top, now shoes. Boots can still happen. Uggs? Flats? Too cold. Sneakers? Nope ran this morning and so not going to be too crazy. Uggs to at least be comfortable. Of course it is not 7:30 and I still have to pack up all my stuff for class, get breakfast, water, and get in my car. Welp speeding to class I see. No matter what I will hit the three five traffic lights and two of them will be red. Just four classes and them home. Maybe I will grab a nap in my car to recharge from this lack of sleep. I am all done for being social but sleep used to be my friend.

Where was I, oh crap going to miss the turn for my school. Need to seriously where I am driving sometimes. Got all my stuff, food, water, now keys. Hopefully I locked my car. If not I am sure someone will try and jack my stuff. Oh class. Thank you professor for greeting me each morning. This class I used to be interested in and put my input until the professor learned so many names and would not remember mine no matter how many times I spoke. So over it. I wonder if anyone is awake enough on facebook. I cannot be the only awake sole. Even though people probably haven’t updated their statues.

“Hey Kel.” Sami says as he sits down for class. Looking the same as always but today he seems different. Goodness how I want that boy to get a real sweet girl. He’d be an amazing boy friend.

“Morning. How was your weekend?”

“You know, did my thing. Where were you.” Nodding his head in his gangster like way. One of the true reason I love Sami, gangster but total sweetheart.

“You know, ‘doing my thanng’.” We both giggle. “Nahh seriously just chilled with some people, nothing too crazy.” That is one thing that is nice. My life can go to complete crap but friends are always grounded and wont do anything ridiculous. Well maybe a little ridiculous.

“Your doing it again.”

Snapping back to reality. “Doing what?”

“Talking to yourself. You use to be better at covering it up. You must be stressed out.”

“Oh. Didn’t even realize how much I have actually been talking to myself. Stressed yes. Handling it, not so much. Working on it.” I smile to not show how truly embarrassed I am. It is one thing to be caught by a stranger, I will never see them again. But in class talking to a friend. Fail. I should at least be paying attention to what they’re saying.

“What’s been going on?”

“Nothing. Work, school, family. You know. The works. What about with you?”

“Kelly, come one-”

“Class it’s eight so I guess we should start.” Yes professor you begins while I write random things that are written on the board and we shall continue on with this relationship.