“Chase how about you sit in the chair and I get the couch.” Chase just entered her office and she’s walking around rearranging the magazines on her table.
“I get the chair? Does this mean I get your notebook and pen too?” His voice is on edge and his eyes have this darkness to them. He stands in doorway with a slight scowl and there is a darkness surrounding him.
“If you’d like.” She says still looking down at the table, she has yet to look up and notice how he’s standing or much of his tone being so focused in what she began before he entered.
Chase makes his way there and takes the notebook on her desk and a pen. He starts tapping the pen on the notebook, having his leg cross over his other as he moves the chair side to side waiting for her to play her role. “Well, Corine, are you going to sit?”
She stands straight up not realizing that he had actually taken her notebook and sat in her chair. “That chair suits you Chase.” Corine sits down and smoothes out her pencil shirt, crosses her legs, lays out on her couch and closes her eyes.
“Now, what’s your deal? Why aren’t you married?”
Corine eyes shoot open and she raises herself up. She tries to conceal her reaction to this question so Chase doesn’t know the full effect of his question on her. “Well, honestly.” She looks down at the rug, examine the corners of the rooms then brings her face back to look at Chase. There is no kindness to his eyes or expression. No matter what she says to him it could break her or it could set him off.
The silence in the room begins to get to Chase. He puts his feet on the floor and they can’t sit still. “No answer?” There is only judgement to his words, he leans forward, puts his hand on his knees to help him stand. Walking to the book case she watches as his one leg seems to be kicking. He cannot be still. Chase turns back to her and looks her in the eye. He opens his mouth then catches himself. He continues to walk, first to the chair but he doesn’t sit, he keeps his back to Corine and looks out the window.
Corine knows to stay silent. He will think this out and say what is running through his mind. Pushing it will only work against him.
“My head was spinning out of control; I saw fear and anger in my children’s eyes as I smashed the car mirror. I could hear them yell. I know they’ll leave me” he shrugs “and they have no reason to stay, I cannot take this back. I wanted to kill someone.” His voice keeps his edge but there is something to it that sends chills up Corine’s spin and her heart breaks a little for him. “I never wanted to be like my father.” He pauses and puts his head down. “Be abusive. See terror, the terror that I saw in my children’s eyes because they’re afraid of me.” He begins scanning the room and settles his eyes on the snow globe with the golf ball in it. It’s now been moved to the book shelf. Standing there he just hold it, he doesn’t try to put the ball on the tree but he just watches the ball move in the water from it being picked up. When it finally settled down he began again, “I went to get comfort from a drink, cold and crisp; it slide down my throat so nicely. A drink like a good scotch, always makes me calm and makes the hatred I feel for myself go away. It allows me to relax for a second, then the other me takes over.” He put the snow globe back on the shelf. “It’s like I’m having an outer body experience, I watch myself throw anything in sight and yell things I don’t mean, things I don’t even understand. My children turn their backs to me; I know they hate, they hate who I’ve become. I want to stop myself. Try to make it all stop. The yelling and throwing I just want to calm down but nothing seems to work. Doc, tell me.” His face is filled with shame, but he hides this from Corine.
The rest of the session Chase just continued to pace while Corine would ask him questions. His answers were short or didn’t match what she asked. Before leaving he asked her if she would sign his paper. Corine did as she always did, he quickly folded up and put in his inside pocket of his jacket.
“Well, thank you.” He looks her in the eyes as he always does when saying thank you, he walks out of her office, get into his car and sits fir a little while. Sitting there he just stares at his steering wheel. He pulls out the paper she signed, he counts them and there are twelve signatures. He signs. Shakes his head slightly, then folds it back up and puts it in his pocket. Turning the key in his ignition he then puts it in drive and heads down the road.