The next day we continue to talk as always. Forgetting the past and starting fresh. We continued to speak in our tangential way. Making plans to hang out or seeing what was going on. This is how our days would be spent. Talking all day long in this other cyber world. This seems normal right? To me it did anyway. Almost a routine or habit. People thought we were dating, honestly they did. Isn’t that what anyone would think? To be honest with you at times I thought it myself. But, there was nothing romantic, or well I should say he wasn’t romantic. We would simply sit and do whatever the plans were, it came off as being completely platonic.

The time spent together was no small thing. It is time and energy that your putting into a person. This person, that yes. They are your friend, but you’ve got to wonder if there is more to it all. Moments that it is just the two of you making the plans. Then it would become me not just making the plans. This is how June went on, then July came. After days spent of it just being the two of us, I could not image another world. It was simply days spent together. If there was any free moment we would spend them together. 

“Are you coming over for dinner?”

I know we have plans together but what does he mean by dinner? “Dinner?”

“Yeah, I asked you to come over because I’d have the house to myself so I thought you could come over and I would cook us dinner.” He says this as he casually walks past me. I can easily think this is him being flirtatious right?

“I suppose I can do that.” He then pulls me into him and I nuzzle into him on the couch. This is a place I have become comfortable and enjoy being here. I accept this thought and instantly wish I didn’t think it. Not only that, but that I was okay with it. I should not be okay with this thought. Especially in this moment. I can feel my body tense up against his. I know he can sense it. His body slightly adjusts to make it better but this does not help it.

“You okay?”

“Umm yeah. I’m going to grab a drink. Want anything?” I stand while saying this and heading to the steps to get to the kitchen.

“I’m good.” He just continues to rest his arm on the couch seeming completely casual. Obviously I am the crazy one who is over thinking this. Right? That’s all this is. I manage to give an awkward smile as I make my way up the steps. I believe I am keeping my thoughts in my head to myself but I am honestly not sure. Hopefully they’re not slipping. “Forgetting something?” I stop mid step going up the stairs.

“What?”

“Your glass.”

“Oh. Right. Thanks.” Another awkward smile and I go slowly up the stairs. I move to the fridge and my hand is on the handle and all I can do is stare at it. Should I actually get the drink which will keep me here longer, watching whatever it is we are watching and have his arm around me, or quickly gulp down the last of my drink and make up some excuse for why I have to leave? The smart thing to do would be to leave. Is that what I do? No.

“So what are you doing up there?” I hear him downstairs and it pulls me back into the moment to know I am still staring at the fridge and haven’t moved for at least three minutes.

“Oh sorry I got distracted.”

“Way to be. Will you just get down here?”

“Demanding much?”

“No. Would you please come back down here.” I can’t help but give a small smile and slightly hop to start making my way down. I leave the glass and completely forget about getting a drink or even leaving. Why would I want to leave? I come around the couch and just fall down on it and I’m back in his arms. His arms seems to just fit perfectly. Like this is where I am meant to be.