Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Edited

It has been two years since Joy gave birth to her daughter. And two years since seeing her daughter. The family who adopted her has moved and is no longer in contact with Joy. The scares still show on Joy’s body of giving birth, but only slightly. Stepping out of the subway on 33rd Street to walk the three blocks north to her office, Joy knows no one around her knows the pain she carries with her everyday. Nobody can step out without showing a past in this city. Last year I broke down in my office and my boss’s receptionist walked in. Work gave me a personal day to “get my hormones in check”. God if only they knew what that day was. I held that job for three years then left for six months of leave for a ‘missions trip’ with no photos or stories and nobody questioned it. Or how I left engaged and came back single. I guess that’s why they didn’t ask.What a world I live in.
“Joy call for you, it’s the editors wanting the rest of the story.”
“Franky when are they not wanting more? Never satisfied. Tell them I sent it last night.”
“Okay.” Franky what an assitant. He thinks I don’t know about all the unpaid hours he works. Kid keeps my life in order. Even when I was gone he sent me emails of what was going on. He’s going to take over this company someday and no one will be able to stop him. Hell I’ll even let him.
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“Tony as I told you yesterday and all of last week there is going to be nothing to add to the story. I was sent to me anonymously. I can’t find out who sent it. All I know is they added an account number, that wont give out information. It will only accept money sent to it for being published. And there was money attached to it for 500 copies to be printed. That’s the only number they wanted printed.”
“Joy. I hear you, but frankly I don’t give a damn. This novel is phenomenal. I want to publish more.”
“My hands are tied. Now my two o’clock is waiting. I still need to meet with those willing to show their identity.”
“Fine. But work on this story Joy. We need to get more copies out of them.”
“Alright. Bye Tony.” Joy hang up before Tony could get any last words in. If only he knew the tragic “fiction” novel he’s loving was my life story I wrote it to help with the depression I was in during my pregnancy. Not only was I pregnant and a lone, but I couldn’t tell anyone about it. Adam left, my family is strict Roman Catholic and work? Oh please. They would have fired me. Great my two o’clock is a happy young college grad with probably a perfect family. Oh and look at that, an engagement ring. I was engaged. He knocked me up and fled the country. Literally.
“Joy this is your two o’clock.”
“Great follow me. I feel like going for a walk. I’m not one for formal interviews so don’t bother introducing yourself. You know who I am so I wont bother introducing myself. Frank need to know your name, you need to worship Frank. You trouble him too much, then your done. Okay leave your story with him and it was great meeting you.” Joy gets on the elevator leaving this girl very confused. Joy waves and enjoyed her slight power rush she just got. Now walking out on to the marble lobby where her heels echo but more of a song than the awkward smacking. Today it gets better.

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Down by Joy’s apartment they just put in a small office space for the company that she used for putting her daughter up for adoption. Everyday she walks past it being reminded of the day she meet in their office to say good bye. I wonder if they have the same couches in the back room? They were yellow with flowers, you sunk into the couch and it made you feel a sense of bliss. Perfect when you are far a long in your pregnancy. I would feel so stressed out from not being at work and losing my support system. I never thought of adoption. Goodness why they have to put this in. Joy walks off to get her food in the organic shop she gets all her food from. Without this place she would honestly starve. 
What did I have last night? “Joy is that you?” I know this voice. Joy picks up her head to see a girl she had gone to college with. They were in the same sorority and even were roommates in one of their satellite houses.
“Michelle? Oh wow, oh are you?!”
“Good, I actually have been crazy busy with life you know. Wow it’s so good to run into a familiar face, I just moved here.”
“Oh where?”
“I live actually just across the street. All I really know is this shop and how to get to my job. I was living in Paris but then got laid off so now I got a job here. The job gave me a place until I find one of mine own, which might be across the river since I see the bill and no way could I keep it.”
“New York taxes, all I can say. I live actually about a block up. We should get together for dinner sometime and catch up! There are a few girls from Zeta here and we get drinks on Saturday or Friday’s, depending on how stressful the weeks been.”
“That sounds wonderful. For now I will agree to catching up. I could actually do coffee, rather than drinks. I just don’t know my way around yet so day light is my friend.”
“I totally understand.”
“Well here is my card with my number, cell, and email. Give me a call tomorrow about when would work for you.”
“Oh I would love to. Oh it was so good seeing you!” The two embrace and part ways. Michelle. Wow what a wonderful girl. She went to Georgetown with me, she was from North Carolina and was so humble and basically a southern bell. Georgetown changes people, well those not used to that environment. Not her though.
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“Franky.”
“Yes.”
“Could you come into my office?”
“What do you need?”
“Could you tell me what’s missing?”  This story is good. It is deep. Well I just might think that because it is mine. But I can’t tell what I’ missing from it.
“Life.”
“What?”
“The story, it’s just a story. There is not life to it to make you want to keep going. The author is speaking to you not with you.”
“What would I do without you.” Joy smiles embracing Frank.
“Who knows.” Life wow. I did not think my story could be lifeless. It’s the second part of having to give up my daughter alone because Adam walked out on me.
Joy continues to read over the words she had written. Holding a confused frustrated, annoyed face.
“Are you okay?”
Franky gave me his opinion but he wanted fresh eyes, someone who doesn’t know what I like. Someone who would be straight with me. Joy starts dialing the number of who she knows will give her a direct answer.
“Alright I’m going back to my desk.”

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