What can I say about my first crush. Everyone has one. Same as most people have a first day of kindergarten. Now I don't remember our first meeting. Nor when I knew I liked him. It is more the actions and experiences we shared. Defending him when another girl was trying to steal his attention from me. Running up to him and giving him a kiss. The moments of being innocent children of playing in the pool or running around the jungle gym.
The sunny blond hair with water blue eyes stole my heart as a five year old. I thought we would get married. I would become the next Mrs. McKay. Now obviously I would not get married at five. But we would grow out of our velcro shoes together. Learning to tie our shoes. Maybe even tie each others.
From shoes tying comes the dressing ourselves. Learning how to write. All this we would learn together. Before we could grow young together we first had to speak to one another.
Which honestly was no issue for me. I was not shy. I would and will walk up to strangers and just talk to them. But not this time. This boy staring at me with his light, ocean, welcoming eyes simply left me speechless. I would only admire Tyler from afar. Watch him while he played and shared with our classmates. But one weekend while going to my brothers soccer game Tyler was there. Why is he here? This isn't school its family time. Now my family will know everything it will be, hey Tyler. I spoke. Words were coming out of my mouth? From there we went on the play our games and let our relationship grow.
When school came all the other girls had to know he was mine. All mine.
At school I felt it as if I was at a higher power than the rest of my class. I was the one everyone wanted to be friends with. All the girls wanted to talk to me. The teacher want to call on me all the time. I would go on to have amazing grades, have all the IVY Leagues wanting me. I would get the best job and our life was set.
There was one issue though. I was not that only girl that wanted his attention. A girl names Charlie liked Tyler as well. Charlie was the one who was to go to the attendance office to give who was here and who was not. Everyone wanted to go with her. Charlie and I were friends so I was the one who would normally go with her. It wasn’t a question. Our teacher would call her then I would meet her at the door and we would head out. This time she passed me and went straight for Tyler. She asked him to go and he looked over at me. This was not happening Tyler was mine. Charlie knew it. He was mine. All mine.
Tyler went to walk with Charlie but I stop them. Charlie was like me with always wanting things her way. She was a bully. I knew how to deal with bullys. I was the bully. I pulled on her hand to start walking but she pulled away telling Tyler to go with her. Tyler was a sweet heart he would just go to not have issues. Even let Charlie and sometimes me walk over him and not say a word. I would not to back down. I was the one to go with her. Either I would go or no one would go. She hit me. No one hits me. I slapped her so hard her face turned red. She instantly started crying and ran out of the room. I just want back to my circle of friends like nothing happened.
Not sure how the next few days went. I have blocked out a lot of my kindergarden experience. They didn’t like me there. Would continuously send me for counseling or send me home. Either way the school knew I did not like them. They have no problem showing they did not like me. It was a Christian school, not very Christ spirited if you ask me. First the banned me from going to school for a few days. Who bans a six year old. Apparently if its laundry day and you can only wear certain items of clothing, and all you have of those items are black, your a sinner, hate God, and worship Satan. I was six. Then if you do not hang out with all of your white classmates and you hang out with the chinese or black students you are a racist and are in need of help. Yes. I was a six year old who worshipped Satan and was racist. That was me. I walked a fine line my time there. Maybe it was better to walk to my own beat. I was better off. My friends there either left the school or the stuck it out.
I know Tyler did. It was probably the only thing he could hold on to. His family fell apart when his brother becoming a drug addict. I don’t know all the details. All I know is that one day he came home and attack his father and hospitalized him.
I knew our time together was short but we spent a lot of time together. It was just the two of us. On day in my backyard we were running around because it was a beautiful sunny day and what else do you do as a kid? My backyard seemed as if it was miles long. We ran through the jungle gym, swung on my swing, then ending the day with a hide and seek. When it was his turn to count I waited till he had two counts left. I ran up from behind him. He seemed so at peace and angelic. While I was a wild women. Charging down to stop in front of him and I kissed him. It only lasted a second. So quick. I jumped. Then I ran away as quickly as I ran up to him. Nothing happened after it. I ran away.
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