A few weeks have passed since Kyle came to my apartment. I didn’t need to speak with him. He spoke to me saying that he really cared about me but didn’t think we would get far. He knew the desires I had in life and what I wanted to accomplish and all that I could do, and he knew he could never make me happy. He would settle and I would ultimately settle wondering a what if of my life. Sad to think he saw all this. All that he saw my life to become and were it could go, and I didn’t even see this in myself.

Kyle maintained my good friend. Now I did not have to think of those what ifs anymore. Not it’s only a this could have been. A could of love story. Yes, but a ending of hating a life that would come. I told him about Nathan. I knew he had a right to know. I also explained that I wished so badly that we could have been what I saw. But that’s it life is not a story that I can write. It has almost already been written for us by God and we veer off and write our own footnotes to what he sees and wants for us. I hope I’m living the life that he’s chosen for me.

I’ll just have to wait for the next train to come or long walk to either see Nathan or another one like Nathan. Guess this story wasn’t always mine to keep.