“So stupid!”

“Monica is that you?” Crap I was not expecting anyone to be here.

“Oh hey Chels, sorry didn’t know you were here.”

“It’s Tuesday of course I’m here, night to catch up on random shows. How could I miss this?”

“Oh it’s Tuesday. I didn’t even realize.” My bags feel like they’re filled with bricks and I just want them off my shoulder. “Sorry been in my own little world today.”

“Oh give it up what’s been going on? You are never quiet unless something is really on your mind and bothering you, spill it.”

“Chels it’s so stupid, like I just feel so dumb for letting this get the better of me. I don’t let things bother me or really get to me but this, this is just so... so...” I just feel like pouting and not even getting these words out. I look at my hands and just can see that I am all awkward and this is hard for me to say.

“Come here.” Chelsea’s arms are held open and I just go in for the hug. We just sit on the couch and throw on the trash shows we find on hulu, with breaks to grab wine, popcorn, and peanut m&m’s. Chelsea left that night still not knowing what was truly bothering me. That’s how she’s become one of my best friend, she doesn’t have to know the details of what is going on but she will still always be there for me.

After she had gone I went back to my glass of wine, pulled up the blanket and put on a chick flick that is horrible and for high school girls and should not be watched because gives that false awful hope that should not be given. However within an hour it will his me how truly horrible that movie is and will make me move on with life and forget the guy that is now on my mind. If he was just my friend then why does it bother me? This is just too dumb to make any sense of. School and family is what’s important right now, I need to stop being so selfish and just have all this me focus. That’s right I have been lazy and not taking care of this I have been needing to simply because I wanted to do something else.

I turn the tv off and just lay there for a bit in my own self pity, which is even sadder, but I believe it is what is needed to be done right now. Maybe going to the gym would be the better option.