Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts

Friday, September 30, 2011


That was not a good idea! running. Why on earth did I think I could possibly a runner. I must has made it about five minutes if that before question what I was doing. Run? Okay playing a sport yes I will but to just go for a run. I walked. But walking is so slow and people feel as though they can stop you. And of course the moment I need to clear my head I would run into the person I need to figure out.
Not the new guy. If it was the new guy then that wouldn’t be so bad. However it just had to be Kyle. Him of all people. I think maybe running into, I don’t know, no solid comparison on who would have been better to see. Right now nothing is clicking in my mind.
Who do I have a roommate? I know that she believes that she is helping but really? Ahh and talking to him! It was like pulling teeth because I knew he totally knew about my roommates grand idea of us being set up. But he probably thinks it me who wants to go out on a date with him. Being so coy, oh I heard your roommate ran into Andrew earlier. Really?! I should not be this upset about it all. Right? My reaction is not justified. Or is it? Why am I getting this upset over everything? She said that we were all going to grab food or something. Or something. He knows the or something.
Maybe it was the way he said it or just me not wanting anything and knowing, or at least being told many times how he wants something. People playing with my head never ends for a good time. I am being such a women. I just need a friend to talk to. Wait where am I? I just kept walking after seeing Kyle in a storm and now it looks like I went to a foreign country. Okay turn around that seems like a good plan. Yes just turn around. I turn to actually do a little running so where I am can pass by quickly and hopefully I am not in a dangerous area.
“What can’t get enough of me?”
“Clearly not!” New guy what are you doing here?
“Well actually I can’t say that because I saw you a while back but you were walking so fast making it hard to catch up to you.”
“Oh sorry, lot of the mind so just kept going and now I need to question where I am and how I got here. Thankfully I don’t think I made any turns so that’s good.”
“Oh well that helps.”
“Yeah.”
This is totally an awkward silence moment. Was he just stalking me?
“Well my building is actually about two doors down, if that gives you any reference for where you are.”
“Honestly not at all.”
“Figured.”
“Yeah but I believe if I keep walking but up that way I shall eventually come to a reference point. Or at least that is my plan of the moment, but who knows.”
“Sounds like a reasonable one.”
“Yeah.” So is this another awkward moment of me putting in head phones and walking away? “Oh funny thing is I have talked to you about three times and I have never asked your name.”
“Oh I don’t believe I have offered it up, so that is rude on my behalf.”
“Yeah but, no will agree to that simply people curtsy.” Oh God please laugh.”
“This is true.” Okay I got a smirk that’s something. “Well I am Nathan it is lovely to have meet you, and again.”
“Well Nathan it is my pleasure.”
“What brings you down here? I am assuming you don’t live around here.”
“Well that is up for debate seeing how I am somewhat from around here however I do not know where exactly here is so, yeah.”
“Well here is about three blocks from the metro where I saw you the other day.”
“Oh okay awesome, so I am not as far as I thought. Sorry caught up in these thoughts in my head so I could have been dropped in some foreign country probably without realizing.”
“This could be a foreign country and I am simply tricking you.”
“Now Nathan why would you do such a thing?”
“I have no purpose. No clue what I was thinking.”
“Heaven only knows.”
“Fact. I am sorry though I must run. You know those Tuesday ragers won’t happen without me.”
“Oh yes clearly they only happen due to you.”
“I am glad someone understands.”
“Yes.” We do smiles and I walk past him putting in my head phones. I guess random banter is where this relation shall stay.
“Olivia?”
“Yeah?”
“Your going the wrong way.”
“Oh, ha. Thanks!” And embarrassment. Grand! 

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


Everyone is frozen unable to move. I thought the worse thing of the day would be being late and dealing with everyone telling me how I’m late. Instead I come to find everything destroyed and a crime scene. Chills are running down my back. My feet feel plated to the floor. My bad is wet. Not a sweat wet. I find blood is dripping down the wall my body has found itself pushed against. Whose the one killed? Who could have done this?
“Sir I need you to come with me.” Oh he’s talking to me. All I can do is stair in confusion. He puts his arm on my arm. “Sir you cannot stay here. How did you even manage to get in. We’ve had the building sealed off for the last fifteen minutes.”
“How long?” I’m focused on the time. That is key to me for some reason.
“Fifteen minutes sir.”
“I was in the parking garage. I was sitting in my car.” I hope this is making sense. The scene going on around me is a blur. I see my desk. There is a man there, a bullet in his head. Was that meant for me?
“How long were you in there?”
“Maybe a half hour, maybe longer.”
“Did you see anyone coming in or out you did not recognize?”
“No. Same people as always.” The officer with me pulls a man by in a suit, I don’t recognize him.
“This man may have seen the killer.”
“Okay. I’m lieutenant Bryant. I sure the next few minutes are to be a blur and your wondering what you just came into. As far as we know. People walked in, they did not open fire, simply had one target. The man who is over at the desk belonging to Charlie, Charlie Brooks. Then people who went to use their phone or on their phone began to be targets. They cam up the elevator but went through the window on zip lines.”
“Did you say Charlie Brooks?”
“Yes.”
“I’m Charlie Brooks.” The lieutenant and officer then look at each other. No sure I am standing and talking to them as I have been the man identified as the one killed at my desk.
“Excuse me but you are saying your Charlie Brooks? Works the logistic department here and does data analysis?” The lieutenant is looking at his clipboard for my life records, Hopefully he hasn’t notified my kin that I am dead. Would be a serious sick joke especially since my mother recently called and she said the only time she’ll get a call from me is hearing I’m dead. I should probably call her. I have at least a day or two to call her back.
“Yeah I do other stuff but I guess that is my official title. Your saying they went on a killing spry after killing me?”
“Yes. Though with telephones.”
“Wow, I knew people wanted to kill me but not that badly.”
“You think you know whose done this?”
“Oh I just meant I tend to piss people off. Not exactly a people person per say. Where are we going?”
“We need to get you out of this office so we are taking you back to the station for now to figure out if this was simply a shooting or a bigger plan.” Who knew.
“Lieutenant I’m going back up to get evidence and to correctly identify the victim. Umm, Mr. Brooks you may want to call your mother and wife.”
“Wife?”
“Yes we called your place and a women picked up identifying herself as your wife.”
“I don’t have a wife. I’m only twenty-three, did she at least sound hot.”
“Mr. Brooks then I suggest you call your mother.”
“Ahh she’s fine I can give her a call tomorrow.” The officer looks so shocked by my manor he simply stars while the lieutenant has to pull my arm and guide me out of the building. I guess this was the life I was thinking of this morning. Now if women did not want to get with me before they totally do now, come on I am suppose to be dead but wrong guys killed. I am wanted dead. Just reached totally bad ass points.
Oh goodness listen to myself. Someone is dead. Not just someone many people because of me. Who would want to get with me? I better call my mother.