Family Ties

    Once a month Ryan and his sister have a breakfast date at Ryan’s apartment. He moved out about three years ago and since she has been commuting to college they made an agreement that this would be a standing occurrence. Lately Ryan has not been so consistent with making the plans if there was something with the family or a group of friends, but he could not cancel their breakfast date. They both have been pretty quiet, which is far from normal when the two are together.
    Ryan looks up from his food and sees Cassi, his younger sister, glaring at him. “Why are you giving me that face?”
    Cassi leans forward and scrunches her face a bit. Stares back at Ryan unsure of what he meant. “What?” She says slightly defensive and hunching her shoulders widening her eyes for him to get the message of confusion.
    “That face. Like your trying to read my mind or you want to say something but you’d rather have the conversation with yourself.” He goes back to looking at his food and eating.
    “I don’t know what your talking about.” Cassi gets up from the table taking her plate with her.
    Ryan does not believe Cassi and does not hold back his tone in his answer. “Right.”
    Cassi stops and turns towards Ryan and gives a second for his answer to sink in. “No seriously. ‘The face’” She raises her one eye brow proving that she’s made a point of saying there is no face and he’s crazy. “That’s ridiculous. I was just thinking. It wasn’t directed at you.”
    “Cassi. You were staring at me like you were trying to read my mind.” He just stared at her waiting for a response. No came. “Why were you giving me that face?”
    “I wasn’t trying to read your mind Ryan.” Cassi puts her dishin the sink and begins to walk away.
    “Then what?” Ryan stares at Cassi thinking she’ll give an answer or at least some sort of excuse but she just comes back o the table and pulls the magazine she was reading closer to her face. The pages begin to fold back and before she can cover the name Ryan catches a glimpse of the title. “Cosmo! Seriously? Man Cassi, you don’t ask your brother questions from Cosmo. Boyfriend? That shouldn’t even happen. That’s something you keep between you and your little friends.”
    “Shut up! Ryan I was just thinking about something. I never said I would ask you. That’s weird.” She begins getting defensive but in a softer tone. Whatever was on her mind seemed to genuinely hurt.
    Ryan can sense she’s hurt so he begins to lay off. “Well, were you wondering if I have done whatever your question was?”
    Cassi just stares at the magazine now flipping through the pages. She seems disinterested in what she’s reading but there is something pressing on her mind. “No.” She says quiet as if a drop it, and she knows that Ryan will say nothing else about it.
    “Okay.” Ryan goes back to eating.
    “Yeah. Ryan you also don’t understand you don’t live at home anymore. You moved out after college, got a job, and you’re on your own. Listen. I am about to graduate. I had to help pay for school. I didn’t get the help from the parents like you did. You graduated with a cushion and could do whatever you wanted. You did class, your frat, and got the job you wanted. You didn’t have the struggles like I did.”
    “I know things weren’t the same. Not my problem.” Ryan’s done eating so takes his plate and heads towards the sink.
    “You know, you can be such a jerk.” She stands up to leave the room but turns back, “Ryan, just because you were given all that money, you didn’t have to work for it, it’s not right to keep it all to yourself. You don’t even acknowledge it was given to you. Sure it was a gift, a blessing from the parents, but it wasn’t a right.”
    “Cas, I got it. Stop coming over here to give me a lecture of how I am the bad guy in this situation. I told you I would help you out with school.” Ryan’s voice is stern and not in the least bit caring towards Cassi’s situation and their differences. He’s set and that’s what matters.
    “Yeah. With strings attached.” She turns and heads to the door.
    “Nothings free.” He says coldly turning his back.
    “Funny coming from you,” Cassi says calmly back with a strong attitude behind it.
    Ryan slames the plate in his hand into the sink making his way towards the kitchen door frame of the living room where Cassi is standing by the door. “I helped you! What did you pay for everything on your own? No! I helped you get to where you are.”
    “Bull!” She slams the door and turns toward Ryan shouting. “I came home from school because we couldn’t afford it, I got a job on my own, I paid my bills, and helped the parents when I can. Don’t give me that crap. Dad helped. Where were you?”
    “Working.” His tone is so cold and heartless it gave Cassi chills.
    “Yeah right. You got a job that you barely half assed, causing more issues for the family and almost ruined a business that has been around for twenty years. You know what screw-”
    Ryan hits hi hand against the frame of the kitchen door. “I half assed. Who helped?”
    “Not you!” Ryan throws his coffee from the table against the wall almost hitting Cassi.
    “Get out! I half assed? No! You guys are the worst. I moved out so I wouldn’t have to put up with this crap anymore. You guys are the ones who decided to stay. I didn’t. You’re not my issue anymore.”
    “Fine! It’s not like you ever helped anyway. Stay here. One day you will wake up wondering where all your friends are and why your family doesn’t talk to you. You cut everyone out who doesn’t tell you just how awesome and fantastic you are. Cause right now your just a douche.” Cassi heads out of the door. But first adds, “remember when we called you out? We said hey, if you keep going like this you are going to end up alone. Enjoy your money. I hope it’s good company.” Cassi slams the door as she walks down the steps to her car closing that chapter on her life.

Douche! That is the main thing going through my mind when I pull into my garage. You know happy thoughts of course. I was so happy having a lovely day, well okay maybe wasn’t the best because I have been super moody but I was on the upswing to be happy and things looking up for a brighter night that I was even considering going out tonight. Not a big thing but I was out of my funk. So I tell him that I am thinking that I’ll end up going over. He says this other girl is coming whose ‘just a friend’ so it’d be better if I don’t. Come again? Was I know the girl you were making out with the other night? Obviously I should be the one told to not come over.

Douche! I am just staring at my steering wheel, I somehow had the thought process to turn off my car and take my keys out. Stomping up the steps from my garage into my house I move past the people, it is as if they are figures and I do not know how we got to where we are now. One minute things are great! Okay let’s be real maybe it wasn’t great, or good for that matter. Maybe it just was. But just was, was better than what it is now. When I look at him I feel disgust. No, I don’t even look at him or think of him. Well, I do think of him that is a lie because he is what’s fueling this intense productively.

A guy. A silly boy is what is fueling this crazed let’s get work done and over drive mentality. He is only a boy because he is not a man so a boy is fitting. You can be the age of a man but not act or have the attitude of one. That is besides the point. One of the biggest tensions between a guy and a girl is whether they like one another or not. The closer they get, the more confused they get. There are connections that are made, an unspeakable bond you could say. Knowing how the other thinks, their past, and them talking about your future. The future makes it come off as though they will be in each others futures in a different way.There is something special and different about this one. They say guys and girls cannot be just friends. We should have listened. Getting to this level of being so close that it almost seemed inevitable. 

No. I was a strong woman. I knew where my head was at. I was focused. We said just friends. There were to be no feelings or any sort of connection. That is what we agreed on didn’t we? Then how did I let this happen? I gave in, I gave in, I gave, I have feelings for you. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You know too much about me, I know so much about you. I can’t like you. I choose not to like you. It’s so hard when you smile at me the way you do. I told you it was distraction and now I feel like a smile never leaves your face. These little distractions. All sweet and innocent.

Where is that silly notebook. I need to get all this out of my head. It is all trapped in here. It is making me go mad! I need it out. A release of pen to paper is like a drug. A crazy, mad unspeakable drug. Where the, oh of course next to my bed. Why would I be rummaging through these draws to my desk that just end up with things thrown in them? I have no idea. I just think I just needed to slam things.

“Hey, umm is everything okay?”

“Whose that?”

“Well Rach is you turn around or would recognize your roommate of the last twenty years you’d know it’s your sister. What’s wrong.”

“Sorry Gen. I just have had a horrible day and need to write it out. So unless you want me to project it on you let me get it out on paper, burn it and be done with it then we can talk.”

“I think before talking we’ll need some wine.”

“That too. And chocolate.”

“Yes.”

“No screw that this silly thing is not getting me down. I am going for a freaking long ass run. A run to trump all runs. I am not going to do the stereotypical girl thing of curling up in a depressed ball and giving into my feelings. Screw that!”

“Okay.”

“Now get out let me right and then run.”

“Good luck with that.”

Gen slowly closes the door behind her leaving me to my thoughts. Thank God! I love my sister but she will simply complain if I at all complain to her because she has told me from the beginning I am being stupid with this guy and she just doesn’t like him. Maybe she’s right. No, she was right. I don’t know why I’ve been waiting around and for him this long. What’s so great about him anyway? Umm, yeah I’m going to need time to answer that one.

Where was I? Oh right DOUCHE! DOUCHE! DOUCHE! Ehh where to even freaking begin? Umm yeah it’s great you made your big move, congrat - u -freaking - lations! You can make out with a girl but you can’t do the follow through. Honestly guys think they can do anything they so please with anyone and that in the end it was the girl thinking to much about it all. But come freaking on! If there was never a conversation about dating, something happens, and then you talk okay yeah understandable. There was conversations. Yes, plural. Many. More than one. So seriously what were you thinking?!

Obviously there is a back story to all of this. I will not go back to the very beginning, that is simply too much of a backstory to this whole melodrama stupidity. Let’s set a scene for the beginning of the summer. Everyone like the summer, it’s fun easy and relaxed right? Well, this summer seemed to start off at just a little preview for how this relationship was going to play out and just grow into greater confusion.

Gut always wins! When Kyle and I were pulling out of the parking lot a ranger had just passed us and was making his way into the parking lot. But that was earlier now I sit hear waiting for my room mate to come out of her room to show me if I approve of her outfit for the night. Granted I almost never approve cause generally shows to much of something but it is more of color and look on her she cares. Honestly that is why I say no somethings.

“So what about this? Cheetah lingerie too much?”

“For what exactly? Sleeping or walking down a street?”

“Oh funny little pun in there. I am picking up better on you calling me a prostitute. And neither, trying out this new club and suppose to be trendy and the newest it thing. So cheetah a win?”

“Well cheetah is always in but we are no longer in college so seems slightly desperate-”

“That is something I’m so not-”

“Possibly put on the new dress-”

“I want to be scene for my brains-”

“Or try on that top with those leggings-”

“I have a lot to offer-”

“So maybe cheetah wedges?”

“Yes! I will wear the lacy top, with black tight skirt and heels! They will believ I am trendy, young, innovative, and will talk and I will fill them with my knowledge.”

Before I could even answer she’s hugging me and running and swilling back into her room. Dear Lord what did I just give her and idea for. I put my book down and grab my mug to pour some more tea.

“So how did things go?”

“Go?”

“Umm hello I totally know you were with Kyle earlier!”

“Oh, umm they went.”

“Come on, I need some details. I live for this. Sweet innocent roommate who stays in on her Thursday nigh reading a book and drinking tea, like such a clique of good girl. With the crazy roommate who gets ready and takes shots. Now come on! I will end up meeting a random dude who will be no good for me in about two hours, but I will know you spent time with a good guy today. So when I come home crying later about my mistakes I will remember your story in the taxi at least.”

“Your so twisted.”

“I don’t like to think twisted. More knowing I’m young, I have a right to be stupid so I might as well take advantage. I am turning twenty-six in two weeks so I only have two more weeks of this excuse. After that I am just a reckless person.”

“Oh so twenty-six is time to grow up?”

“Well yes, I would like to be married someday do you find that shocking?”

“Slightly yes. But your reasoning I will just skip over that whole deal.”

“Olivia come on!”

“What?”

“Kyle, story now! It will totally not be as good when I have to go up to Andrew later and ask him what Kyle said. Kyle gives like no detail so it’s a bunch of he said they did this. It was good. Blah, blah, blah! I need to hear about the romance and spark of it all!”

“Haha well cannot see Kyle being the romancer.”

“Don’t laugh! He’s quit the catch-”

“More talker and hoping I hear him while staying silent-”

“You could end up falling for him-”

“Well maybe not silent but more mysterious-”

“He’s a really great guy-”

“No not mysterious, just what is the word-”

“Andrews a great guy too-”

“I can’t put my finger on it-”

“Olivia are you listening?”

“Yes.”

“So you think a double could work?”

“Work for what?”

“You, Kyle, Andrew and I?”

“Do you know what Andrew’s job is?”

“Yeah he works with kids.”

“What kind of kids?”

“I think middle school.”

“Yes and what does he do with these kids?”

“Umm teaches them obviously! Goodness Olivia I’m not an idiot!”

“But what does he teach them.”

“Whatever you learn in middle school.”

“Right, he’s a youth pastor.”

“Okay so he’s-”

“Yep!”

“Whatttt!” And now the freak out begins. “He, he, God, works for, what?! But he goes to the bar. He sees me dressed, God, works for, what?!” Oh maybe shouldn’t have had the big lead in. “He must think I’m satan.” Yep bad idea, no lead in. “I dress, boobs, he has probably, oh man! Oh man!” Looks like my tea shall wait. “I need a drink.” Oy.

Everyone is frozen unable to move. I thought the worse thing of the day would be being late and dealing with everyone telling me how I’m late. Instead I come to find everything destroyed and a crime scene. Chills are running down my back. My feet feel plated to the floor. My bad is wet. Not a sweat wet. I find blood is dripping down the wall my body has found itself pushed against. Whose the one killed? Who could have done this?

“Sir I need you to come with me.” Oh he’s talking to me. All I can do is stair in confusion. He puts his arm on my arm. “Sir you cannot stay here. How did you even manage to get in. We’ve had the building sealed off for the last fifteen minutes.”

“How long?” I’m focused on the time. That is key to me for some reason.

“Fifteen minutes sir.”

“I was in the parking garage. I was sitting in my car.” I hope this is making sense. The scene going on around me is a blur. I see my desk. There is a man there, a bullet in his head. Was that meant for me?

“How long were you in there?”

“Maybe a half hour, maybe longer.”

“Did you see anyone coming in or out you did not recognize?”

“No. Same people as always.” The officer with me pulls a man by in a suit, I don’t recognize him.

“This man may have seen the killer.”

“Okay. I’m lieutenant Bryant. I sure the next few minutes are to be a blur and your wondering what you just came into. As far as we know. People walked in, they did not open fire, simply had one target. The man who is over at the desk belonging to Charlie, Charlie Brooks. Then people who went to use their phone or on their phone began to be targets. They cam up the elevator but went through the window on zip lines.”

“Did you say Charlie Brooks?”

“Yes.”

“I’m Charlie Brooks.” The lieutenant and officer then look at each other. No sure I am standing and talking to them as I have been the man identified as the one killed at my desk.

“Excuse me but you are saying your Charlie Brooks? Works the logistic department here and does data analysis?” The lieutenant is looking at his clipboard for my life records, Hopefully he hasn’t notified my kin that I am dead. Would be a serious sick joke especially since my mother recently called and she said the only time she’ll get a call from me is hearing I’m dead. I should probably call her. I have at least a day or two to call her back.

“Yeah I do other stuff but I guess that is my official title. Your saying they went on a killing spry after killing me?”

“Yes. Though with telephones.”

“Wow, I knew people wanted to kill me but not that badly.”

“You think you know whose done this?”

“Oh I just meant I tend to piss people off. Not exactly a people person per say. Where are we going?”

“We need to get you out of this office so we are taking you back to the station for now to figure out if this was simply a shooting or a bigger plan.” Who knew.

“Lieutenant I’m going back up to get evidence and to correctly identify the victim. Umm, Mr. Brooks you may want to call your mother and wife.”

“Wife?”

“Yes we called your place and a women picked up identifying herself as your wife.”

“I don’t have a wife. I’m only twenty-three, did she at least sound hot.”

“Mr. Brooks then I suggest you call your mother.”

“Ahh she’s fine I can give her a call tomorrow.” The officer looks so shocked by my manor he simply stars while the lieutenant has to pull my arm and guide me out of the building. I guess this was the life I was thinking of this morning. Now if women did not want to get with me before they totally do now, come on I am suppose to be dead but wrong guys killed. I am wanted dead. Just reached totally bad ass points.

Oh goodness listen to myself. Someone is dead. Not just someone many people because of me. Who would want to get with me? I better call my mother.

Intro

Everyone wants to find that nice guy. You know why nice guys finish last, cause we want other things in our life to experience and the nice guys just aren’t at that level. The bad ass will have us do things we wouldn’t and or shouldn’t. The slaker will do just the right things too late but he put these things together to make us feel great. Sure there are other types of guys but those generalize many guy groups. Well this is me. Kelly. I am the one seeing the great nice guy. I should be totally into this but there is truly no mystery, everything is laid out on the table, and frankly I was bored before the night even began. Well I should not say that I was remember our first date and was actually wondering how did I get in this situation to be on a second date. If it was with a stranger or some guy I randomly meet who I would not be guaranteed to see again then I would not be here. But here I stand, jeans, a sweater, and sneakers waiting to be picked up. That’s right. I didn’t even dress up.

Now when I girl doesn’t even try and it’s not months of dating, it should say something. Well I was saying something. But him being a nice guy still does the right thing of coming to my door, greeting my family, leaves when my Dad says to go, and he opens his car door for me. Now that is how you treat a lady. I was impressed. But then the art of conversation must come into play. Well before I ruin the whole story for you take a look at this situation.

“So tonight I will be doing many things that I have never done before.” He says off handily to not make the situation completely awkward with the fact the car is looked and he forgot he has to put his key in the door to get it open. But it is still so sweet. He is so nervous about taking me out again and he wants to do all the right gestures.

“Oh really? This being one of them.”

“Yep.” I then get in the passenger seat and wait while he roads the car to get in the driver seat. I am smiling though because no boy has ever opened a car door for me to get into besides valey, brother, or father.

I hope you get the idea I was so excited for being treated like a girl and for these new things in my life. But seriously I am effed in the head. Why these guy would want to take me out was way beyond me. But this is me Kelly. There was a little intro to my present day life. But yeah, Get used to this rambling ‘cause it’ll only get worse.