It all starts in to local coffee shop. Many people use coffee shops to get to know a person and see if there is a chance for a relationship. That is the traditional way to look at things. Well, this was a first time grabbing coffee to share how a relationship was not going to happen.
“I just asked you to go there because I thought you would enjoy it. There was not alternative motive.”
“The way you were talking about it and plans made it come off that you were planning it for just us and had planned for it to mean more.”
“Yeah I thought it would be something that we could do, but I was the one asking.”
“Yeah I know you asked.”
“Right. I am the girl. Me asking, not you. If you had asked it would have been different. There would have been a thought process of maybe this is more than just friends, but it was me.”
“I know, but you made it sound like you wanted more to come out of it.”
“How?” I shift in my car in a slight confusion trying to remember the conversation we had of me asking him to go. I talked it up in excitement because I have good memories of the place and honestly thought he would have really enjoyed going to it.
“You just kept saying how I would enjoy it and didn’t seem like you wanted anyone else to go.” He just sits there seeming so uncomfortable and awkward.
“Honestly that is just how I am. I like getting to know people and building relationships with them so I spend time one on one time with them. In a group you can’t do that. There are just others and distractions, it just makes it hard. I don’t really know what you want me to say. You don’t really know who I am or much about me so you just assumed these were my attentions.”
“Well . . . you would joke about us dating.”
“I also told you it would never work out for us to date.”
“I know.”
“So apparently me thinking we would never date and telling you it wouldn’t work out clearly means that I want to date you.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“I am just trying to understand.” I am trying to hold back my defensive tone but he isn’t being rational. His responses are coming off so quiet and as though he is uncomfortable and doesn’t believe what he says. “If you are making accusations about me liking you and wanting more you should be able to back up your thinking.”
“I just . . . I got, I just got this feeling so I stopped it before it went further.”
“Okay.”
“Yeah so anyway how’s your coffee?” Seriously? This guy really has no back bone.
“It’s good. Listen I am getting kind of tired and I cam here to talk to settle things but you don’t seem interested in doing that.” I begin to move off the seat and he still is just staring at me. Is he really this dumb?
“I thought we did.”
“Do you not talk things out to make them better?”
“I never have before no.”
“Seriously?”
“No. I haven’t.” He just stares and me and shrugs his soldiers like I’m the crazy one/”
“Wow. That is ridiculous. Have you not had a friend you’ve wanted to talk things out with, or even a girl you liked or liked you?”
“I don’t. I just don’t talk about it or to them really and then we just start talking again.”
“Wow that’s really immature. Sorry but it’s true.”
“Thanks.”
“Well, umm, when you want to talk, then reach out, but for now I am not going to waste my time just pushing something under the rug that you brought up. It may seem like I am making a big deal about this, but I can’t believe you brought this up and didn’t expect to talk about it.”
“I just don’t.”
“Just don’t what?”
“Talk about things. I get over it and that’s it.”
“Yeah, well when you have an issue with a person you need to say something to them.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?” I have no idea what to say or think in this situation. Am I being defensive or a typical girl and over thinking things? He’s making me feel like the crazy one. I break my muffin in half contemplating this. He sits there tapping on his drink with his fingers. Just tapping, making no noise but just a distraction in the silence of awkward that has just transpired.
I shift to cross my legs the opposite way leaning back to pull the wrapper off the bottom half of my muffin. Chocolate chip muffins from dunking are always softer than a bakery or bagel shop makes them. It is harder to break and harder to eat. Why did I even get a muffin? The donuts are good enough and I wouldn’t mind having a Boston creme. Ahh my thoughts are all over the place.
Rachel get your head straight. “So how’s that muffin working out?”
“It’s working. I don’t know about the good or bad. Kinda making me think why I didn’t just get a donut.”
“You can still get one.”
“I’m good.”
“Okay, well if your not happy with something you can change it.” Oh the irony.
