Future

    “One of these days you’ll all see how wrong you were. Yes, I had nothing going for me. My mother did not have a high school diploma. My sister is a stripper. Well I could not tell you how a father acts. Those were the footsteps I knew to follow in. But, I want a future, possibilities, like to travel out of the country. I want to dress up for a ball. Dance the waltz. I want to ride an elephant. I want to wake up to see the sun rise. I don’t know if I will get a chance to do these things. That doesn’t really matter. All I want is the possibility.”

Family Ties

    Once a month Ryan and his sister have a breakfast date at Ryan’s apartment. He moved out about three years ago and since she has been commuting to college they made an agreement that this would be a standing occurrence. Lately Ryan has not been so consistent with making the plans if there was something with the family or a group of friends, but he could not cancel their breakfast date. They both have been pretty quiet, which is far from normal when the two are together.
    Ryan looks up from his food and sees Cassi, his younger sister, glaring at him. “Why are you giving me that face?”
    Cassi leans forward and scrunches her face a bit. Stares back at Ryan unsure of what he meant. “What?” She says slightly defensive and hunching her shoulders widening her eyes for him to get the message of confusion.
    “That face. Like your trying to read my mind or you want to say something but you’d rather have the conversation with yourself.” He goes back to looking at his food and eating.
    “I don’t know what your talking about.” Cassi gets up from the table taking her plate with her.
    Ryan does not believe Cassi and does not hold back his tone in his answer. “Right.”
    Cassi stops and turns towards Ryan and gives a second for his answer to sink in. “No seriously. ‘The face’” She raises her one eye brow proving that she’s made a point of saying there is no face and he’s crazy. “That’s ridiculous. I was just thinking. It wasn’t directed at you.”
    “Cassi. You were staring at me like you were trying to read my mind.” He just stared at her waiting for a response. No came. “Why were you giving me that face?”
    “I wasn’t trying to read your mind Ryan.” Cassi puts her dishin the sink and begins to walk away.
    “Then what?” Ryan stares at Cassi thinking she’ll give an answer or at least some sort of excuse but she just comes back o the table and pulls the magazine she was reading closer to her face. The pages begin to fold back and before she can cover the name Ryan catches a glimpse of the title. “Cosmo! Seriously? Man Cassi, you don’t ask your brother questions from Cosmo. Boyfriend? That shouldn’t even happen. That’s something you keep between you and your little friends.”
    “Shut up! Ryan I was just thinking about something. I never said I would ask you. That’s weird.” She begins getting defensive but in a softer tone. Whatever was on her mind seemed to genuinely hurt.
    Ryan can sense she’s hurt so he begins to lay off. “Well, were you wondering if I have done whatever your question was?”
    Cassi just stares at the magazine now flipping through the pages. She seems disinterested in what she’s reading but there is something pressing on her mind. “No.” She says quiet as if a drop it, and she knows that Ryan will say nothing else about it.
    “Okay.” Ryan goes back to eating.
    “Yeah. Ryan you also don’t understand you don’t live at home anymore. You moved out after college, got a job, and you’re on your own. Listen. I am about to graduate. I had to help pay for school. I didn’t get the help from the parents like you did. You graduated with a cushion and could do whatever you wanted. You did class, your frat, and got the job you wanted. You didn’t have the struggles like I did.”
    “I know things weren’t the same. Not my problem.” Ryan’s done eating so takes his plate and heads towards the sink.
    “You know, you can be such a jerk.” She stands up to leave the room but turns back, “Ryan, just because you were given all that money, you didn’t have to work for it, it’s not right to keep it all to yourself. You don’t even acknowledge it was given to you. Sure it was a gift, a blessing from the parents, but it wasn’t a right.”
    “Cas, I got it. Stop coming over here to give me a lecture of how I am the bad guy in this situation. I told you I would help you out with school.” Ryan’s voice is stern and not in the least bit caring towards Cassi’s situation and their differences. He’s set and that’s what matters.
    “Yeah. With strings attached.” She turns and heads to the door.
    “Nothings free.” He says coldly turning his back.
    “Funny coming from you,” Cassi says calmly back with a strong attitude behind it.
    Ryan slames the plate in his hand into the sink making his way towards the kitchen door frame of the living room where Cassi is standing by the door. “I helped you! What did you pay for everything on your own? No! I helped you get to where you are.”
    “Bull!” She slams the door and turns toward Ryan shouting. “I came home from school because we couldn’t afford it, I got a job on my own, I paid my bills, and helped the parents when I can. Don’t give me that crap. Dad helped. Where were you?”
    “Working.” His tone is so cold and heartless it gave Cassi chills.
    “Yeah right. You got a job that you barely half assed, causing more issues for the family and almost ruined a business that has been around for twenty years. You know what screw-”
    Ryan hits hi hand against the frame of the kitchen door. “I half assed. Who helped?”
    “Not you!” Ryan throws his coffee from the table against the wall almost hitting Cassi.
    “Get out! I half assed? No! You guys are the worst. I moved out so I wouldn’t have to put up with this crap anymore. You guys are the ones who decided to stay. I didn’t. You’re not my issue anymore.”
    “Fine! It’s not like you ever helped anyway. Stay here. One day you will wake up wondering where all your friends are and why your family doesn’t talk to you. You cut everyone out who doesn’t tell you just how awesome and fantastic you are. Cause right now your just a douche.” Cassi heads out of the door. But first adds, “remember when we called you out? We said hey, if you keep going like this you are going to end up alone. Enjoy your money. I hope it’s good company.” Cassi slams the door as she walks down the steps to her car closing that chapter on her life.

    Seeing Kristina walk down the stairs in her baggy sweater and a high bun, Johnny is in awe of how beautiful she is. Yes, he enjoys when she gets dressed up but dressed in her natural beauty is what always catches Johnny’s breathe. The cold chill outside brings him back to his task but he know he could stand there and watch her all day.
    “Sure is coming down outside.” Johnny brushes the snow off his one shoulder that’s holding the wood he collected from outside. Moving it to be next to the fire place so they have extra through out the night. Kristina just watches him from the couch curled up under a blanket and resting on a pillow.
    “Did you get the bags?” She’s now scanning the room looking for some layers to add rather than just swearing her sweater.
    “I thought you were getting dressed upstairs? The bags were in the room.” Johnny now moves to curl up next to Kristina on the couch.
    “Oh right. I might have forgotten.” She moves to straddle him moving the blanket over them. Johnny’s hands move to her hips moving up and down her leg. “I enjoy when you do that.”
    “Oh trust me, I know.” Johnny just smirks at Kristina then leans forward to kiss her.
    “Now, board game or movie?” Kristina asks while she plays with the buttons on his shirt.
    “That’s not going to lead to either option.” Johnny started moving his finger tips up and down.
    “I know.” Kristina begins to move in to kiss Johnny when suddenly the door flings open.
    “That drive was ridiculous!” A man walks into the room with bags brushing off snow. “Honey come on hurry up!”
    “Excuse me?” Johnny yells to the people entering the house while moving Kristina off his lap and giving her the blanket to cover herself.
    “Someone’s here?” The man looks in the house taking off his hat and having a face of utter confusion.

Monica wakes up the next morning feeling so confused. Look at her clock and sees it’s noon. “When did it become noon and how did I get home?”

“It was a struggle but I somehow managed.” Mike is walking into the room just wearing his boxes.” Monica cannot hide the shock on her face. “Don’t worry we didn’t do anything I slept on the couch, and I can’t exactly be wearing my clothes because someone decided it would be a wonderful idea to fall spilling their drink all over me. so wearing a crusty alcohol soaked suit was not happening.”

“I am so embarrassed. I am so sorry!”

Mike put his hand up to stop her. “Don’t worry. You had a lot of questions and kept shocking you that you went with the easy escape.”

“At least I only get drunk once a year or this would be really embarrassing.”

“What was really embarrassing was your friend Andrew coming over and finding me in my boxers in your kitchen.”

“Haha! Oh I will have to call Andrew and explain.”

“He has a key to your place?”

“Yep. He comes here about three times a week in the morning with coffee and we head to work together.”

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah, he’s such an amazing friend, been there for me since I came here.”

“You didn’t grow up in San Fran?”

“Nope came here solo after my parents passed away.”

“Wow.”

“That’s what happens when you nineteen and your parents pass away. But it’s life.”

“Listen I get the no parents thing, they may have been there but they weren’t. Physically there but everything else, no. My dad has no clue about me even leaving New York. I’m not sure he even cares I’m in California. My mom isn’t much better. But it is what it is.”

“I’m sorry. I know doesn’t mean anything but mine were taken and didn’t have a choice while yours do. I know not helping but I couldn’t image in that.” Monica seemed to get lost in a world simply playing with the sheets. Mike take this cue and makes his way next to her just holding her. They stayed like that for the rest of the afternoon. Each getting lost in their own world but not wanting to loss the other person.

The world seemed to pass them by for the day letting them get take out and eating on the floor in her living room to watch a movie, vegged out, and got lost in conversation. Places they wish to travel to, places they’ve been, and making a destination place that they promise they will only go together to. Life they have lived. The life they saw themselves living, or at least that they were meant to have. Things they would have done differently and things they want to do differently now. Mike wants to make a difference for the local teens to have out reaches to feel safe at. While Monica wants to see what the city has to offer. She has lived in San Fransico for about four years and has yet to see all of it if it is not friend or work related she has not ventured over there.

Before either of them realize it they are face to face leaning on the couch with knees almost touching as they lay with blankets around them. Looking at each other unsure of what is come next. They realize it is now dark but neither of them seem to care. The moment has taken them over and all they can do is look into each others eyes wishing this will never end.

“Nice house.”

“Why thank you.” Shay releases his arm from around Monica waist and turns to look at her. “What brings you to the woods.”

“Andrew actually asked me to come here, but I have yet to see him.”

“He’s actually inside. Want to come in.”

“I do but it’s so beautiful here. Sorry we don’t views like this from my apartment.” Monica just continues to gaze up at the stars as if nothing else exist.

“That’s why people come to the woods, it’s something I like to call camping.”

Monica can’t fight back a smile. “Ha, ha. Very funny.” The two simple continue to stand outside neither wanting to turn or move just being comfortable with the silence. Shay turns to Monica about to say something while someone beats him to the punch.

“So you do make it out here.” Mike is coming down the stairs holding a Mike’s which isn’t exactly mainly but Monica can’t help the girlyness of the drink.

“I can get away from my comfort zone.”

“What brings you here?”

“Andrew asked me to come.”

“Right. Did you get to read over my folder?”

“No.” Which is a lie Monica read over every detail Mike left and started making an outline of what to send back to him and where he should look.

“Oh I guess your really busy then.”

“No. Just not sure what kind of read I get from you and it makes me question working with you. Sure it’ll have your name to it, but my name will also be out there.”

“Ahh yes your precious name.”

“Sorry to interrupt but do you guys need a moment?” Shay is starting to back away unsure of where this conversation is coming from or what is with all the tension that came into the air.

“No, Shay you can stay out here with Mike I was just heading in.” Monica goes p the steps and makes it to the door frame when Mike is suddenly next to her. “Can I help you.”

“Yeah, I think I want to take you out for a date.”

“I’m not the kind of girl you think of doing something with. You either have the balls to ask or you don’t.” Monica just steps into the party leaving Mike at the door.

“You can never show too much leg. You could show more of those mosquito boobs you have but leg is great.” Monica is video chatting with her sister, whose in Chicago, to help her get ready for the party at Shay’s. She’s looking to impress for the night.

“Trish you sure?”

“Honey you have amazing legs they should be shown to the world.”

“I understand looking good but I don’t want to be easy or a slut.”

“Calm down, I may dress it, you know, slutty whatever but I’m young and single. But you are so conservative. Loosen up a little. You look beautiful. You will turn heads.”

“I hope your right.” Trish goes on to ask all about this boy shoes looking to grab his attention but all Monica says is she’s getting bored with life and feels like she’s seriously missing out on companion ship and hopes to grab some attention to talk to a guy. They leave it on that note but Trish isn’t interiorly convince and Monica does not seem to believe it herself. The right to the party is a blur, Monica is so nervous to see Mike but also not sure if she will. Now she wishes she meet Andrew before hand to not have to walk in a lone.

Monica just stands out the house not sure to walk in. She debates walking in and while starring at the window she hears her name being called. Jay is walking up the driveway with a case in hand. “Ahh that is what I forgot to come prepared for beer in the woods.”

“True, I bring this anytime I come to Shay’s. He doesn’t drink but I feel like the more I bring it sometime he is bound to drink.”

“Wow. Slightly douche.”

“Well, yeah. But I do try to not force it. I just bring it that is all.”

“Then I guess he’s very tolerable.” Monica and Jay just seemed to linger outside of the house. Monica debating to go in a Jay looking like he needs to talk to her. The last encounter was not the best one, and Monica had more than a few choice words to say about it but right now she’s had more on her mind. She’s got a guy on her mind, reading the Bible, and thinking some serious life changes. But let’s have this Jay situation play out.

“If you don’t want to go in a lone I can give you a hand.” Monica gives Jay a once over. Not sure what to say. “I know I am probably not your type but just trying to be a friend here doll.” That gets her.

“I am not your doll. Listen I am not a bitch just going throw stuff so wondering how I even got on this road, this town, and talking to you. Just way to much to think about. Sorry I don’t even know you, but that is why I am standing here and looking at this house and wondering if I should enter.”

“How about I just wait with you. Here.” Jay hands Monica and beer. “Relax a little and we’ll just wait out here.” Monica sits on the stone porch next to Jay and puts her heels next to her.

“So much for showing legs.” Monica says softly.

“What.”

“Nothing just thinking of what my sister would be saying right now.”

“Gotcha, hot many you got?”

“Just her, no brothers. You?”

“I have a brother and a sister.”

“One of each nice.”

“Yep. I’m sure my sister wishes she had a sister but she had two protective brothers instead.”

“That’s nice that your protective.”

“I think so, she doesn’t all the time.” Monica tells him he knows how it is because she’s protective of Trish, especially after they were in a car accident when they were younger. It wasn’t anything major but she promised after that to always protect her. It might not have always been for the best but it was what she knew to do. Jay shared how he’s watch his brothers life always go on the right track and he’s tried to be a good example but he’s brother has turned into his example for his life. Spin on the older siblings role. But his sister has always been the star. She does sports and is at an Ivy League school dating the perfect boyfriend. Her life seems so type A but that is also her personality.

After all there sharing they realize they’ve been outside for a good two hours and drank half the case. Jay figured he might as well bring it in before Shay has to question where all the beer really went. Monica says she’ll wait a minute before going in, she wants to look at the stars which you can’t get a good look at by her. While gazing at the stars Monica feels some ones arm slip around her waist. She does not know this arm but feels as though this is where it belongs. When she turns to see who it could be, it’s Shay.

Monica went to work spoke to Tony as she entered. Shared with him what she had read and what chapters had changed her view. Still unsure of what all these things mean to her, Tony simple shares for her to not rush it and to continue reading. He is no expert so tell her to seek a place out that she feels called to. Monica agrees to this and heads to her office. Before looking for a place that calls to her, which she is unsure of what that could possible mean, she does the research she promised to do for Mike.

“What is with this thing?” Monica is clicking all over her computer for the website she uses for simpler researching of fundraisers and it does nothing.

“Bad time?” Monica turns to see Mike standing at her office door.

“Oh no, sorry just trying to actually look up the information I said I would do for you.”

“Ahh, well thank you so much. I did some of my own.”

“Awesome. I honestly meant to do this for you yesterday but life gave me a slap in the face so I had to put it off.”

“Alright. In a good way.”

“You know I think so.”

“Well that’s always good.” Mike unsure of what to continue on saying goes and hands the folder he’s brought with all the research he has done.

“Oh right, getting straight to business. Listen not sure what your expecting to do or anything-”

“I have everything laid out there with my ideas. Read it over and give me a call.” Mike just turns and head to the elevator. Monica is unsure how to think of this. Should she follow him or, she’s up and heading to him.

She catches him at the elevator, “that’s it?”

“Excuse me?”

“Your just going to walk all the way to my office, hand me this, and then be done?”

“Monica I know your business didn’t mean it in a rude way. Honestly.” Mike looks serious at Monica and questions lingering on his face of wondering why she’s so hurt by what just happened.

“I’m sorry. I guess I am just, I, there is just a lot of my mind. I will read this over and give it back to you.”

“Thanks.” The elevator opens and Mike steps on in. Gives an awkward wave and the door shuts.

“And that lady and gentlemen is how you make a complete and total ass of yourself.” Monica phone goes off with a text from Andrew, done for party tonight at Shay’s? Shay is friends with Mike, Monica just made an ass out of herself to him. Probably not. I’ll be there.

Speaking too Soon

Without a fail. He would be the one to call. Not the mystery boy from jersey I know. But the guy I started seeing when I first moved out to LA. I knew they invented caller ID for a reason.

“How was your birthday?”

“It was good. What do you want?”

“I just wanted to see how your birthday was. I haven’t seen you for a while.”

“And your surprised by that?”

“Well I just thought we could or would be friends you know. It’s weird not hanging out with you everyday and I miss you.

“Well..”

“Well... What?”

“Austin, you know what.”

“I was hoping that you could forgive me and give me a second chance. I know I messed up. People make mistakes. Don’t you think this has been going on long enough.”

Summer walks into the room and mouths asking who it is. I mouth back Austin. Her normal reaction, rolling her eyes, plopping down on the couch throwing her arms in the air.

“Look I have to go.”

“Alright. But could we please meet up for lunch or a drink this week?”

“Maybe. I have to go.” Before Austin could even respond I hung up and just sat back.

“So I thought you guys were done?” Summer adjusts herself to stare right at me now.

“We are. We’ve been done. I didn’t even know it was him I just answered the phone without checking and to my surprise it was him.”

“Well, surprise!” We both crack up and get up to meet the rest of the crew for coffee down the street. Summer stays in her dress from the night before. It isn’t exactly a dress you could pull off for night and day but Summer always dose what Summer wants.

“Hey could I borrow a pair of flats? I think if I try walking in heels i might just fall down.”

“Oh what. Did someone have a rough night last night?”

“Funny. But seriously?”

“Have you not learned yet that you never need to ask.”

“Your too good to me.” Smiling I walk up to Summers walk in closet which still is bigger than my apartment but the girl has amazing taste and a bank account with a never ending supply. I grab her black Chanel shoes, Chanel I have always loved. Collection is always timeless and reminds me of being home.