Young Love

This way or that way who really knows which way is right? I would like to think the guidance I have absorbed at this point has given me some sort of accountability. Okay maybe accountability might be too much. More like a precedence to what I am feeling I want to do in the moment. Yeah that should be the right assessment.

“Johnny your taking to long with those burgers.” Kristina yells from inside their new apartment they just got together. The two have been married for two years and while both thought at this stage they would be looking for a home to get to fill with kids but that has not happened. 

“Coming. Perfection can’t be rushed.” Johnny flips the burgers to not over due the one side while taking a swig from his beer. “Did you chop up tomatoes.”

“Of course I did my portion.” Kristina answer as she comes through the sliding door to their porch. She comes from behind Johnny putting her arms around his waste and resting her head on his back.

“Trying to start something.” Johnny gives a slight smirk.

Kristina tightens her arms a little more and slightly inches his shirt up above his belt buckle. “Yeah right.” She releases her arms and heads back inside. “Hurry up with those things will ya.”

“Such a tease.” He shakes his head and begins taking the burgers off the grill.

“Nope, just hungry. See it got you to hurry up.” Kristina smiles from her small victory and moves to the counter to sit across from Johnny’s place. “Do you want another beer?”

“I’m good.” Johnny answers as he comes through the sliding door, closing it and moving to the counter. His puts the food down and holds his wife hand. He looks into her eyes, “How did I get so lucky.”

“No clue.” She leans in towards him and kisses him. Then sits back down and begins serving him his food.

They eat in silence which seems to be a normal thing now. Kristina cannot stand silence when eating so she now as grown accustomed to putting on the music. The two of them have always enjoyed they can eat and not feel the need to talk. Their relationship has been like this from the beginning. Neither thought it was awkward that on their first dinner date they talked, then got the food, and became silent while they ate till they finished. It is a content feeling and both thought it was a blessing. There was just a feeling of being content. They enjoyed their time together and just being with one another. It wasn’t what was happening, what was going on, or what they were doing but they were there.

Taisha is sitting patiently awaiting for her daughter to come back to home. She’s used to her daughter going to her fathers and spending the night, but she normally comes home early because her father doesn’t make the best breakfasts. Desiree should have been home by now. I wonder what could possibly be taking her this long. The back door opens and Taisha jumps up excited for her daughter. Then turns the corner and sees the boy that was at her home yesterday with her daughter. “Jeremy what are you doing here?”

“Is Desiree here?”

“She will be soon.” Taisha runs to the window to look out. Desiree walking down the street. “Jeremy you need to go.”

“But I have missed you. I came to see you yesterday and it was just your daughter.” He moves closing to Taisha putting his arms around her waist. “I’ll wait upstairs for you.” Before Taisha can react Desiree is coming through the front door and Jeremy is already at the top of the stairs.

“Hey honey. How was your father’s?” Taisha tries to pull it off as something she would normally say.

“It was fine. I didn’t sleep much. I’m going to go up and take a bath.” Desiree makes her way up the stairs while my head is running with what to do. Desiree is already upstairs. How do I get him out? Do I just leave him?

“MOMMMMM!!! AHHH!” Taisha head jerks to run to her daughter.

“Desiree what is it?”

“Oh my god! Mom I just went in to get the bath running and there was this naked man laid out on the floor!”

“What?!”

“Mom listen to me. Our bathroom. Naked man. What the hell were you doing all night?”

“Desiree listen to me I had no idea! If I did wouldn’t you think I would not have you come upstairs.” Taisha goes to inspect the bathroom. “Did the person break in?”

“No I ran away I didn’t even see if he left.”

“There is no one in here now. Let me call the police.”

“Mom, I recognized him though.”

“You did?”

“I don’t know from where but she as hell know I have seen him before.” Desiree storms past her mom and leaves the house.

“Glad your home. Sorry about the nakedness.”

“Sorry I thought that was you.”

“Jeremy what the hell!”

“Shut up. Kiss me.” Before Taisha realizes they’re kissing and going to her bedroom.

Driving

“Did he seriously ask me about my drinking? Josh I was seriously about to smack him.”

“Well that’s awkward.”

“Thanks.” Why do I even bothering talking to him about this stuff?

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Talk to yourself in your head like no one else is able to give you good advice. I’m right here. You can talk to me about stuff. Don’t shut me out. I talk openly to you, and you did it to me as well. But somethings when you don’t hear something you like you tune the world out. Yes, what he said to you was awkward.” I am not responding. I know that break is you expecting me to respond coldly or defensive but no. I am just going to sit and hear you out. “He is simply trying to get a read on you. Maybe he wants to be just friends as well but is trying to have you say it instead of being a man and saying it himself. He seems scared.

“He is looking for something to be said between you two to protect himself. Your a strong girl and will do as you want with out letting the world know how it has faced or hurt you. But when you are dating someone those rule no longer apply. You have to be able to be open with them and tell them what is going on in your head.”

“We went on one date that is not the same.”

“I am not talking about him anymore. I’m talking about me.” Why is he talking about himself? We’ve never dated you. “I know we haven’t gone on a date but I really care about you. I want to see where this is headed. Kelly you have to know how hard this is for me to even bring it up to you. Going over to your house. That might have seem rash to you. But I had to do it. You had to know how I felt.”

“Josh stop.” I pull over to the side of the road. I see the turn I have to make to make this all end. Just that last turn up a head and I could just drop him off and this night be all over with. “You can’t be saying these things to me. I can’t.” I just look at my lap with my hand on the stirring wheel still. I now look Josh in the eyes. “I care about you a lot. But he is your friend too. I can’t do that to him. Not when he’s trying to get his head around everything. It is just too soon.” I feel myself moving closer to him without being able to stop myself. He grabs my head and we just stare at each other. Words cannot give this moment justice. My hand is on fire from feeling everything to want to be closer to him now forget about the world. Have it just be the two of us and be lost in this moment.

“Get it!” We both jump and turn to see some random guys walking past the car. I clear my throat and turn back and the road to make that turn for his house. Josh takes his time to leave. He turns back as he goes to leave and gives me a kiss on the cheek. My body freezes with chills all over.

“You can give him time but you have to know you’ll choose me in the end.” He gets out and goes into his house. I’ve heard that before. The nice guy when he heard about what my ex did to me.

Driveway

“I need an answer.”

“A answer about what?” Showing up to my house this late is craziness. What is he thinking?

“Are we just friends?”

“Josh?”

“Yeah.”

“Why are you asking if we’re just friends?”

“Because I like you. I think you have made it pretty clear that you like me too.” I look around to make sure the nice guys left. He has. Okay time to be honest. “Who are you looking for.”

“You know the guy I was just with?”

“Yeah.”

“Him because he just took me out on a date and I don’t want him to hear all this. You like me?”

“Yeah.”

“Never told me.”

“I thought I made it clear. What always so happy with you around. Asking you to do things wasn’t enough?”

“Considering you do that with a lot of girls. Girls that your not even interested in, I would say yes.”

“You still should have known.”

“False.”

“Fine I’m leaving.”

“You drove to my house for that and your just going to leave?”

“Yeah because I don’t want to seem like an idiot. You should have known how I felt about you. This is ridiculous how could you not have known?”

“Actions speak louder than words.” Turning for my house to walk in next thing I know he’s grabbing me and giving me the most intense kiss I have ever gotten. When I finally open my eyes he’s getting in his car and driving away.

“Maybe this is a bad time.” Who the eff is that? I don’t want to turn around. I am in way to much shock to register whose voice that even is. Crap I have to turn around. Slowly. Oh ever so slowly. Ryan?

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

“I came to talk to you because I know your seeing my best friend and wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh god. I didn’t know that was going to happen. He just dropped me off and when I was walking to my door Josh showed up.”

“I wont say anything. But you should. Listen I know he doesn’t seem like a really special guy or anything but he just has a lot of learning to still do to feel comfortable one on one with a girl.” I seriously cannot be talking to anyone about this right now. “I know you like him, but he will be the one getting hurt not you.” Really need to stop talking right now. “Are you serious about leaving?”

“Leaving?”

“When your done with school do you really want to leave?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.” That’s it. He just turns now and walks away. Thanks for all the mind fucks universe. It’s been real.

Reality

  Has my head back handed you enough? Yes these are different days. The one with Josh and I was before the date I had with the nice guy. I know my brain jambles around and maybe you realized what was going on but who freakin’ knows. But this is my story. The Kelly story. This is my life. And now here I am, it is the end of the week. I have not seen either one of them and I am about to see both of them. Together. No friend to take with me. Going solo to a party with no clue what to expect. I could go and talk to the nice guy, but who wants to lead anyone on. Or I could talk to Josh and see what happens.

I could take longer to get ready. That would really delay things. That wouldn’t be right. But before telling you about life now, we should get back to how I got here.

Ride Home

“Again sorry about the movies being sold out.”

“Oh no it’s fine. I am just exhausted.” I truly am. I barely sleep anymore and I was at work all day.

“I understand. I’m tired too.” Yeah if only I was not only physically tired. Tired of this conversation and just want to run home. It is not too far of a run. Wait that’s too obvious. “Thank you again for going out with me.”

“Oh no problem.” No problem? Did I seriously just say that? At least he knows the way back to my house so I am not that strained for making a conversation. I guess this shouldn’t really go anywhere. Just get me home. It is only a quick drive. Oh there is my street. You have not looked this good in a long time. So close. I can’t just run out of the car that is simply awkward. “Okay well thank you again for getting me.”

“It’s no problem. And for the final thing in this evening which I have never done before.” Oh God please don’t be a kiss, please don’t be a kiss.

“Umm, what?”

“Walking you to your door.”

“Ohh. Well front door is always locked and we don’t have a key for it.”

“That’s fine.” I will not kiss you! This could seriously be awkward!

“Kelly?” Okay why did I just hear Josh. “Kelly!” I turn and see him pulling into my drive way.

“Who’s that?” Nice guy, so sweet. Now worlds are colliding.

“Friend from school. Thank you again for tonight sorry I have to deal with this.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay.”

“It would probably better if you leave.”

“Okay give me a call later.”

“Will do.” I just stand there as he makes his way back to his car and Josh gets out of his and starts walking towards me. This cannot be good.

Kean’s coffee is always the best to have. Everyone looks so put together like we weren’t out till 4:30 last night. I am the only one struggling. Back home you are allowed to rock the struggling look. Here you show a weakness and people pounce. I got dressed that was enough for me. I’m glad even though I’m around trust fund babies they know how to work and are accepting.

“So, you and Jerry?”

“Did everyone see that?”

“Considering we were all going to leave to go home. Yes.”

“Oh goodness. Summer has a photo. What about you Alexa?”

“Why would you think I would have any kind of evidence. I solely just wanted to ask.” Alexa keeps her head up holding back a laugh till she take out her camera to Jerry kissing me while I stare with a shocked face. She has a setting where is can take photo after photos while you hold down the button. So I got to see how Jerry turned me around kissed me I was in shock! But I just started making out with him. Right in the middle of the side walk then got in a cab. Oh what lovely friends I have.

“Please tell me he has called you. I wont accept texts or bbm’s it must be a call.”

“Considering I just woke up. No.”

“Jerry needs to step up his game. He’s been wanting to do that for sometime but you had that boyfriend of yours.”

“Well he got his chance. Lets see if he pulls through.”

“Well you know Jerry.”

“Yes I do.”

All the girls can’t help to laugh but Summer cuts in with, “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.”