Driving

“Did he seriously ask me about my drinking? Josh I was seriously about to smack him.”

“Well that’s awkward.”

“Thanks.” Why do I even bothering talking to him about this stuff?

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Talk to yourself in your head like no one else is able to give you good advice. I’m right here. You can talk to me about stuff. Don’t shut me out. I talk openly to you, and you did it to me as well. But somethings when you don’t hear something you like you tune the world out. Yes, what he said to you was awkward.” I am not responding. I know that break is you expecting me to respond coldly or defensive but no. I am just going to sit and hear you out. “He is simply trying to get a read on you. Maybe he wants to be just friends as well but is trying to have you say it instead of being a man and saying it himself. He seems scared.

“He is looking for something to be said between you two to protect himself. Your a strong girl and will do as you want with out letting the world know how it has faced or hurt you. But when you are dating someone those rule no longer apply. You have to be able to be open with them and tell them what is going on in your head.”

“We went on one date that is not the same.”

“I am not talking about him anymore. I’m talking about me.” Why is he talking about himself? We’ve never dated you. “I know we haven’t gone on a date but I really care about you. I want to see where this is headed. Kelly you have to know how hard this is for me to even bring it up to you. Going over to your house. That might have seem rash to you. But I had to do it. You had to know how I felt.”

“Josh stop.” I pull over to the side of the road. I see the turn I have to make to make this all end. Just that last turn up a head and I could just drop him off and this night be all over with. “You can’t be saying these things to me. I can’t.” I just look at my lap with my hand on the stirring wheel still. I now look Josh in the eyes. “I care about you a lot. But he is your friend too. I can’t do that to him. Not when he’s trying to get his head around everything. It is just too soon.” I feel myself moving closer to him without being able to stop myself. He grabs my head and we just stare at each other. Words cannot give this moment justice. My hand is on fire from feeling everything to want to be closer to him now forget about the world. Have it just be the two of us and be lost in this moment.

“Get it!” We both jump and turn to see some random guys walking past the car. I clear my throat and turn back and the road to make that turn for his house. Josh takes his time to leave. He turns back as he goes to leave and gives me a kiss on the cheek. My body freezes with chills all over.

“You can give him time but you have to know you’ll choose me in the end.” He gets out and goes into his house. I’ve heard that before. The nice guy when he heard about what my ex did to me.