“OLIVIA!” Oh God. “OLLLLLIVIIIIAAAA!”

“Yeah.”

“So guess who I saw today.”

“Famous or friend?

“Friend.”

“Boy or girl.”

“Ahh I saw Andrew.”

“Oh, how’s he doing?”

“Okay just telling you how’s he doing would cause you to simply ask how he’s doing.”

“Well no but you saying you saw someone we know yes, that would cause me to ask how they are doing. But clearly whatever happened matters so much more.”

“Yes clearly.” I wave my hand on for her to continue. “Well I am going to the coffee shop and debating in a iced drink or should I try this new drink and he comes walking up to me with a drink!”

“For himself.”

“No for me silly!”

“So he has two drinks.”

“Yes-”

“Well that would have been helpful-”

“He talked about his life and asked about mine-”

“He’s a gentelmen-”

“He has such a good heart-”

“Taking it you were happy-”

“Asked me to dinner-”

“But you are easily made happy so-”

“Olivia are you listening?”

“Of course.”

“Well he agreed.”

“To what?”

“Double date, tomorrow night. Kyle he is unsure if he is free but I am sure when he hears you are the other girl he will drop whatever that boy has to do.”

“You did what?”

“It’s just food.”

“Umm yeah no, not with Kyle.”

“Why would you do such a things?” All roommate goes on a ramble explaining how she was just trying to do a nice thing. She would get to know Andrew better while seeing how Kyle and I talk to see if the two of us are really meant for me. Granted her intentions were there but I just saw the new guy yesterday and my head is all types of spinning.

“Olivia I hear you, now I am just going to lay down. Please let me be for a bit.”

“Do you want chocolate?” Such a necessary girl thing to always have.

“No thank you.” I would love a lot of chocolate and a movie but that would just make matters worse. Lay down and go for a run. Yes a run that will clear my head.

Welcome to the girl who got too much for the nice guy. I did like them don’t worry. One I truly had a crush on. From the moment I meet them I thought they were attractive. Being who I am I went straight up and started talking to them. One in particular was quit shy which I found adorable. SO I tried getting him to talk. He was a wilderness type of guy. It made me smile knowing he was basically innocent. I know sometimes they’re boring or they’re way too innocent that it just turn a girl off making you think they’re a child. But no this was simply adorable.

The next nice guy I thought was a little awkward and slightly a bit of a douche. But simply hard to get his humor. Oh goodness the kid I want to share more but I will let you form your own opinion of him.

Finally come the funny boy. Now this funny boy is legit refreakin’-diculous.. He has such an adorable smile, like I can’t even tekk you how adorable it is. Like when he smiles all I can do is smile. You know what that’s like.

Well this story revolves all around these three boys. Thankfully I have never hung out with all three of them at the same time. Well I can’t say that. We may have been in the same room but at large events. Never like out on the weekends together.

But let me giggle for a moment to let you know my life right now as I write this on of the boys I speak of is about fifteen feet away from me grabbing coffee with a girl. I just want to seriously laugh but I’m all a lone so it would be supper weird. If only I had a guy on call I could call right now. Oh fail.

“Taisha what in the hell were you thinking?” Taisha is still out on the porch all relaxed. “Zola got all up in my business. What did you tell her?”

“What? Zola came over here getting all in mine. Saying people were talking in town.”

“Talking about what?”

“She didn’t say. Desiree came in and she went on home.”

“What are people saying. She kept askin me why I was suddenly comin’ ova here again. Like it was any of her business. I don’t ask her about her boys why she askin’ about us.”

“What did she say about us.”

“Just that if I wanted anything to happen I should either get back with you or walk on.” Taisha freezes not knowing how to react. “So Taisha, I just wanted to ask you, would.” He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a box. “Would you go out on a date with me?” Opens the box and there are two tickets for dancing. Taisha loves to dance and always wanted to go with Andre but he never wanted to. She’s staring in his eyes and gets up to hug him. While hugging him she looks up and sees Jeremy walking down the stairs.

“Andre just a million times yes. I need to take care of something but come back tonight of Desiree is a sleep.”

“You can count on that.” Instead of doing the dog move of kissing her he embraces her and leaves her with that. She blushes and watched him walk away. She watches him slowly as she moves in side holding back the panic rising inside of her.

“Jeremy what the hell are you still doing here.”

“Oh hell no are you getting mad at me. You left me in the closet.”

“Oh shit I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah. Now I am heading home. Or we could finish what we started.” Before she answers he picks her up and they are in her room before she knows it and she melts into him not wanting this to end.

Driving

“Did he seriously ask me about my drinking? Josh I was seriously about to smack him.”

“Well that’s awkward.”

“Thanks.” Why do I even bothering talking to him about this stuff?

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Talk to yourself in your head like no one else is able to give you good advice. I’m right here. You can talk to me about stuff. Don’t shut me out. I talk openly to you, and you did it to me as well. But somethings when you don’t hear something you like you tune the world out. Yes, what he said to you was awkward.” I am not responding. I know that break is you expecting me to respond coldly or defensive but no. I am just going to sit and hear you out. “He is simply trying to get a read on you. Maybe he wants to be just friends as well but is trying to have you say it instead of being a man and saying it himself. He seems scared.

“He is looking for something to be said between you two to protect himself. Your a strong girl and will do as you want with out letting the world know how it has faced or hurt you. But when you are dating someone those rule no longer apply. You have to be able to be open with them and tell them what is going on in your head.”

“We went on one date that is not the same.”

“I am not talking about him anymore. I’m talking about me.” Why is he talking about himself? We’ve never dated you. “I know we haven’t gone on a date but I really care about you. I want to see where this is headed. Kelly you have to know how hard this is for me to even bring it up to you. Going over to your house. That might have seem rash to you. But I had to do it. You had to know how I felt.”

“Josh stop.” I pull over to the side of the road. I see the turn I have to make to make this all end. Just that last turn up a head and I could just drop him off and this night be all over with. “You can’t be saying these things to me. I can’t.” I just look at my lap with my hand on the stirring wheel still. I now look Josh in the eyes. “I care about you a lot. But he is your friend too. I can’t do that to him. Not when he’s trying to get his head around everything. It is just too soon.” I feel myself moving closer to him without being able to stop myself. He grabs my head and we just stare at each other. Words cannot give this moment justice. My hand is on fire from feeling everything to want to be closer to him now forget about the world. Have it just be the two of us and be lost in this moment.

“Get it!” We both jump and turn to see some random guys walking past the car. I clear my throat and turn back and the road to make that turn for his house. Josh takes his time to leave. He turns back as he goes to leave and gives me a kiss on the cheek. My body freezes with chills all over.

“You can give him time but you have to know you’ll choose me in the end.” He gets out and goes into his house. I’ve heard that before. The nice guy when he heard about what my ex did to me.

Driveway

“I need an answer.”

“A answer about what?” Showing up to my house this late is craziness. What is he thinking?

“Are we just friends?”

“Josh?”

“Yeah.”

“Why are you asking if we’re just friends?”

“Because I like you. I think you have made it pretty clear that you like me too.” I look around to make sure the nice guys left. He has. Okay time to be honest. “Who are you looking for.”

“You know the guy I was just with?”

“Yeah.”

“Him because he just took me out on a date and I don’t want him to hear all this. You like me?”

“Yeah.”

“Never told me.”

“I thought I made it clear. What always so happy with you around. Asking you to do things wasn’t enough?”

“Considering you do that with a lot of girls. Girls that your not even interested in, I would say yes.”

“You still should have known.”

“False.”

“Fine I’m leaving.”

“You drove to my house for that and your just going to leave?”

“Yeah because I don’t want to seem like an idiot. You should have known how I felt about you. This is ridiculous how could you not have known?”

“Actions speak louder than words.” Turning for my house to walk in next thing I know he’s grabbing me and giving me the most intense kiss I have ever gotten. When I finally open my eyes he’s getting in his car and driving away.

“Maybe this is a bad time.” Who the eff is that? I don’t want to turn around. I am in way to much shock to register whose voice that even is. Crap I have to turn around. Slowly. Oh ever so slowly. Ryan?

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

“I came to talk to you because I know your seeing my best friend and wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh god. I didn’t know that was going to happen. He just dropped me off and when I was walking to my door Josh showed up.”

“I wont say anything. But you should. Listen I know he doesn’t seem like a really special guy or anything but he just has a lot of learning to still do to feel comfortable one on one with a girl.” I seriously cannot be talking to anyone about this right now. “I know you like him, but he will be the one getting hurt not you.” Really need to stop talking right now. “Are you serious about leaving?”

“Leaving?”

“When your done with school do you really want to leave?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.” That’s it. He just turns now and walks away. Thanks for all the mind fucks universe. It’s been real.

Party

“Omg I love this song!” Turn to being judged by Josh. “Hey everyone loves journey you so cannot be hating.”

“Oh I am not hating at all!.” With both just look at each other then I give a little flirty smile then go to walk back down stairs were a game is happening.

“Kelly.” Crap.

“Oh hey. What’s going on?”

“I was going to ask you that. Look I know I was being weird all night and avoiding you but there is just a lot going on so not really myself.”

“It’s fine. Look if there is a lot going on it’s chill.”

“But I just need to talk to you about something cause it’s really bothering me.” Well we went on one date so maybe he doesn’t know where we stand. That’ll make sense cause sometimes I am so scattered brained that I probably give of way to many singles. But you know when I like you. Trust me. “What do you think about drinking?”

Did he just ask me that? This is really happening. “Umm. Seriously?”

“Yeah. Sorry I know you underage and you have these stories about drinking and then randomly making out with guys. I don’t know. It bothers me.”

“Umm. Sorry?”

“I don’t know. I just want to know where you stand.”

“Listen I don’t want to come off as a total bitch but, I am. You are not my boyfriend. If we were together I could understand you asking me this. Or asking me other questions but your not. So I am not going to answer that. I’ll see you later.”

“Wait I didn’t mean to.” Goodness I am just going to keep walking before I blow up on this idiot. Screw that. Walking away can be seen asme being hurt or immature.

“Listen. Don’t say you didn’t mean to especially since you have been hanging out with me for months and see how I act. I bring up my past because I have one. You don’t know my past. Yes I am defensive about it because they way you brought it up wasn’t right. You should of brought it up another way or at another time. You choose to do it here. You heard those stories and still choose to ask me out on a date. That was your decision.”

“Kelly. I’m sorry. I know I don’t see you acting in any of those ways but you talk so relaxed about it so I just don’t know what to think.”

“I’m not going to tell you want to think. I am a very upfront person. I am answering you. I could have walked away but I choose to give you an answer.”

“I appreciate that. Let’s forget I asked.”

“You can’t unask a question so no. I can’t forget you asked.” With him stunned I simply walk down the stair to continue on with the games. Not mind games.

Flashback

“Oh crap it’s sold out. Welp I thought this might happen.”

“It’s okay, we can still go grab coffee. Dunkin’ Donuts or Starbucks?”

“I am for either but more of a Dunkin’ Donuts person.”

“I am the same, if I want actual coffee I will go to Dunkin’ but if I was something girly I will totally go to Starbucks.” I see the nice guy continuing to talk about something but my thoughts are so lost in myself. I am being completely rude but I cannot help it. How did I get on a second date, this quickly. We made plans before he even asked me out so I should not be that surprised, however I should not be here. Everything about this situation my mind is screaming NO! But for some reason I cannot shake it off. It runs through my head of questioning why did I like this guy?

“Oh sorry I have you going the wrong way. Well at least you get to see more of my side.”

“Yeah I get to see more of this side of the highway.”

“True. I wont have you turn around because honestly it will probably take the same amount of time.”

“That’s fine. So anyway the thing at work-” and tuning out. I am truly being this heartless. What is going on with me right now? Is it simply nerves why he is acting this way? No this seriously cannot be just nerves. No one can be this off from how they are normally. Could they?

“Your going to keep left and go down that side street then make a left after the train tracks at the light.”

“Okay. So when I was out Neil was pointing out to me things that I should be doing and things to like work on. I understand that I have things that I need to work on and that is why I haven’t really dated much or anything.”

“Oh no it’s fine.” Is he seriously telling me this now? Okay we are no on this level yet, this is after you’ve been dating for a while and happily together. Not a second date expose all your flaws. I am suppose to discover that on my own and work around it.

“No I know I have stuff to work on, like communication.” Oh man. What have I done. Too soon. Now I know this is basically going to kill any future of dating that I could have thought would have happened. Maybe it wont be that bad. I need to try and stay focus stop zoning out! Okay he was talking about communication. You talk a lot. Yes Kelly, you talk a lot. Your good at communication.

“Oh this is our towns bar, basically one big high school reunion.”

“Note to never go there. That is were you basically see naked girls, asses, and boobs. I’m good.” I couldn’t resist but to laugh.

“Well true, but is that not a lot of bars?”

“I guess there are some classy ones, or other where you just go to grab a drink with friends. That would not be one of them I’m guessing.”

“Depends on the breaks from college.”

“Ahhh. I see.”

“Yep.” Man we are just going to grab coffee, isn’t that backwards dating? I should have not reminded him about this Monday night. Why did I call?! I am the girl it is not my job to be the reminder and ask about plans. It is is. Goodness what if I set up this situation.

Lunch

Need to rush to the building on the other side of campus to grab some food, eat half of it to save the other half for dinner. Goodness I seriously need to stop talking to myself so much. I am like my own best friend in a psycho path way. The worst part is I’m okay with it. I should not let people know I am okay with this. But hey this is my head you’ve invaded. You wanted Kelly’s head and I don’t think you can be hating. Wow why am I like speed walking, there is seriously not need for this. I can slow down. Oh screw that this wind is too freaking much. Police man let me just cross the road and not have to wait for these cars. They’re warm and shielded. I’m basically naked come one. OKay so not really I am dressed fine but still. It’s cold. Score I’m crossing. “Thank you.”

“No problem, have a good day.” Oh I will thanks hot cop. Alright door slide faster and let me in. Just have to make it down there and get food. No matter what I do I will always get an Italian sandwich. They need to make different sandwiches. Well it is my fault I could make one from one. But really, do you think I would blame myself? Nope. Now are there two chair couches open? Of course not. It doesn’t matter anyway. Josh is la†e of course. Will this boy ever be on time for anything? Thank God we could never date because I am not sure he would even be on time for that. And that truly is not a lot to ask for. Be on time for a date. Like come one. But not my issue. 

I could grab a quick nap in my car. Oh but that will be like fifteen minutes, so not worth it. Besides I am already here. Should I even bother doing work? Let’s see 12:15, I have about a half hour before he’ll be here so I could recopy my notes. “Hey!” 

“What is this?!  Your actually on time.”

“I tend to do that from time to time.”

“So I see.” After we both exchange smiles of happy and awkwardness we proceed to share this chair couch and talk about the randomness of life. “How was work?”

“Oh god don’t even get me started. New topic. Thanks so much for offering to help me out tonight I really appreciate it.”

“Pshhh, don’t mention it.”

“So how was your date?” Oh man totally forgot I talked to him about that. Tell him straight up or avoided and be awkward? Cheerful it is.

“Umm, it was good.” Be sure to add an embarrassed smile to pull this off just right. Look down, then yes meet his eyes. I think I pulled this off nicely.